Fate/Hollow Ataraxia:Release3.1 feedback

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Feedback regarding Release3.1 belongs on this page. The file itself can be found here.

Non-constructive feedback is appreciated, too, but would look best on the discussion page.

Contents

[edit] Typos/corrections

  • 真・冒頭-08.ks.po
    • "But are going to complain" -> "are you going"
    • "This is the first time I hear it" -> "first time I've heard it" or something
Bah, I could've sworn I've fixed those ones... Re-fixed. Ranmafan
  • 衛宮邸・2日目-16.ks.po: "In order for this trust to never be betrayed, I will carefully speak of my lady's feelings"
This one's tricky. Rewrote a few more lines and changed it to "In order for that trust to be never betrayed, it is her kindness that you will be tasting as you carefully drink it." Ranmafan
  • 魔境編-06.ks.po: "It's okay. Sella, not as strong as Shirou thinks" - remove comma
This one I'd argue should be left in. It's meant to indicate Leysritt's unusual speech pattern.
Not sure I agree - the version with a comma gives a slightly different impression (in English) than what was intended. Anyway, this one definitely goes under "editing issues". Ranmafan (talk)
I have to agree with Ranmafan. In English, the comma would signify that Sella is the subject being talked to. In the context of the sentence, it appears that Sella is the subject being talked about, and so the comma should be removed. Even without it, you'll still have the unusual speech pattern left intact without confusing the reader. Rillania (talk) 15:54, 14 August 2012 (EDT)
  • 街編・3日目-19.ks.po:
    • "Iseei" -> "Issei"
    • "As attempt to grasp" -> "As I attempt"
  • 夜編1-02.ks.po
    • "it's no fair if you intimidate me" -> "it's not fair"
    • "If ghost really can harm" -> "If ghosts really"
    • "Command Seal" -> "Command Spell" (several instances)
  • 魔境編-01.ks.po, 衛宮邸・1日目-39.ks.po, 魔境編-08.ks.po: "Leys" -> "Liz"
  • 学校・4日目-06.ks.po - "But while it the genre itself was" -> "But while the genre"
  • 学校・1日目-52.ks.po - "I shall not let escape, Matou!" -> "let you escape"
  • 夜編1-14.ks.po - "echoed around us" -> "echoed around me"
  • 衛宮邸・1日目-39.ks.po - "something belonging to lady that died" -> "belonging to a lady"
  • 衛宮邸・1日目-15.ks.po - "grattin" & "grattan" -> "gratin"
  • 衛宮邸・2日目-20.ks.po
    • "from the citizen of this city" -> "the citizens of"
    • "Rider's doesn't care" -> "Rider doesn't care"
  • 衛宮邸・2日目-35.ks.po - "While sure am" -> "While I sure am"
  • 魔境編-15.ks.po - "acting a strange?" -> "acting a bit strange?"
  • 魔境編-06.ks.po - "....Sella, you letting your motions" -> "....Sella, you're letting your emotions"
  • 魔境編-13.ks.po - "she takes form of" -> "she takes the form of"
  • 学校・1日目-53.ks.po - "and here appetite" -> "and her appetite"
  • 街編・2日目-07.ks.po - "That kid got flow of the game" -> "got the flow"
  • 魔境編-07.ks.po - "The colours of are vivid" -> "The colours are vivid"
  • 街・特別編-13.ks.po - "I could at count" -> "I could count"
  • 学校・3日目-36.ks.po - "talking a walk" -> "taking a walk"
  • 街・特別編-07.ks.po - "Saber is can actually" -> "Saber can actually"
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "for the enemy Masters to be weaken." -> "for the enemy Masters to weaken."
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "some holes are gotta show up" -> "some holes are gonna show up"/"some holes have gotta show up"
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "Let us use that store from now on" -> "Let us use that establishment from now on." (it's a restaurant, not a store)
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "Okay, then. I've been entrusted. Give me some time, this one's going to be a little tough." -> "Okay, then. Leave it to me. But give me some time, this one's going to be a little tough."
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "No matter how exceptional the familiar a Servant may be," -> "No matter how exceptional a familiar the Servant may be,"
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "experience of just how useless you are in a battle" -> "experience of seeing just how useless you are in battle."
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "in quality but speed? Speed's on a different level" -> "in quality, but speed? That's on a different level entirely."
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "That song tongue of yours, Bazett." -> "You've got a bit of a silver tongue on you, Bazett."
  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po - "To be said that so straightly," -> "If you put it so bluntly,"
  • 衛宮邸・2日目-16.ks.po: "there is no need for this kind of concerns" -> "there is no need for such concern."
  • 街編・3日目-16.ks.po: "Turns out that the Homurabara's wild beast" -> "Turns out that Homurabara's wild beast"
  • 街編・3日目-16.ks.po: "This is a part of road I take on the way back" -> "This part of town is on my way home."
  • 真・冒頭-11.ks.po: "While on a missing to enforce a Sealing Designation" -> "on a mission"
  • 合宿編-10.ks.po: "Caren --- Ortensia/" - remove the "/"
  • 学校・1日目-18.ks.po:
    • "] With a shinai on your back. I studied liberal arts, I thought there was no way I'd win against the Tiger of Fuyuki." -extra square bracket, also the second sentence is confusing, perhaps add an 'and' or maybe a 'so'
    • "And Homurabara's only hazardous OB is you, Fuji-nee" - change "OG" to "old girl" and "OB" to just "alumnus".
  • 衛宮邸・1日目-08.ks.po: "Why... are you losing weight?" -> "Why... are you so thin?"
  • 衛宮邸・3日目-04.ks.po: "Fried needs to be eaten while it's still warm" -> "Fried food needs to be eaten while it's still warm"
  • 柳洞寺・3日目-04.ks.po: "I rise my head." -> "raise my head."
  • 柳洞寺・3日目-11.ks.po: "Someone as determined as Himuro got to wish for something to that effect." -> "Himuro would definitely wish for something to that effect."
  • 真・冒頭-04.ks.po:
    • "Once she's awake, she'll be itching for a fight as per usual" -> "spoiling for a fight"
    • "I fixate my glare on the shadow." -> "fix my glare"
  • 柳洞寺・3日目-16.ks.po: "I would not dare attack defenceless women and children" -> "defenseless" (going with americanisms)
  • 街編・1日目-16.ks.po:
    • "instant impulse gratification weakens the body, that's right." -> "instant gratification"
    • "no sooner than I raise my heel, she stops ne" -> "she stops me"
  • 街編・4日目-07.ks.po: "...Good grief, me a nymphomaniac?" -> "maniac"
All of the above fixed/edited. Ranmafan

I'll be tossing my stuff here for you Ranmafan. Rillania

[edit] True-beginning

  • 真・冒頭-01.ks.po
    • "There is still plenty of time, but only for the people doing the eating." -> “There is still plenty of time, but only for the people who are going to eat.”
    • "She was being a real hard head about it. But I managed to get her to back down." -> "She was being real hardheaded about it, but I managed to get her to back down."
    • "Since Tohsaka is gone, it was up to Saber to protect the order of our household." -> "With Tohsaka gone, it was up to Saber to protect the order of our household."
    • "Very good... though it is a bit miffing how quick you reacted." -> "Very good...though it is a big miffing how quickly you reacted."
    • "The people making breakfast have to wake up 30 minutes earlier than that." -> "The people making breakfast have to wake up 30 minutes earlier then that."
      • I'm pretty sure this one needs to stay as "than" - it's a comparison, not a sequence of events. Ranmafan (talk)
        • I changed it mainly due to the section is relating time, and then is used for most time markers as well as a sequence of events. You could be right though that even though the sentence is speaking about time, than would still be better used. Rillania


  • 真・冒頭-02.ks.po
    • "Are you telling me that you are an Heroic Spirit that can work such miracles?」" -> "Are you telling me that you are a Heroic Spirit that can work such miracles?」"
    • "Yes, that would be an appropriate power for an Heroic Spirit." ->"Yes, that would be an appropriate power for a Heroic Spirit."
    • "I'm really weak when there's light out. If there's no Master around to protect me, I'm going to get killed real fast" ->"I'm really weak when there's light out, and if there's no Master around to protect me, I'm going to get killed real fast"
    • "That is the price of resurrection, so I will try to stand that level of torture" ->"If that is the price of resurrection, then I will try to withstand that level of torture"
    • "Bazett's eyes were looking at me the same as when she accused me of killing people in that bloody house." ->"Bazett was looking at me the same way as when she accused me of killing people in that bloody house."
    • "a class that shouldn't exist, its name proclaimed with hatred and joy." -> "A class that shouldn't exist, its name proclaimed with hatred and joy."
    • "I'm use to getting all the bad rap." ->"I'm used to getting all the bad rap."
    • "That is what you are normally ought to be doing." ->"That is what you normally ought to be doing."
    • "One of these days you've got yourself to blame when I move on to the rebellious stage." -> "One of these days you'll only have yourself to blame when I move on to the rebellious stage."
    • "Before I could tell what was going on, I was in that mansion, leashed and bossed around by you." ->"Before I could tell what was going on, I was in that mansion, leashed and being bossed around by you."
    • "I'm well aware of that. There is no point to still be making excuses for that" ->"I'm well aware of that. There is no point in still making excuses about that"
    • "....Different, endearing, huh." ->"....Different and endearing, huh."
    • "We had not been talking about my taste in men!" ->"We are not talking about my taste in men!"
    • "The majority of my childhood memories were of plain days like that." -> "The majority of my childhood memories are of plain days like that."
    • "Then, I thought to myself. That I wanted to save him." -> "Back then, I thought to myself that I wanted to save him."
    • "...Even though I couldn't do anything, should it really be okay to wish to save him, I wondered" -> "...I wondered if it was okay to wish to save him, even though I couldn't do anything"
    • "Then, there's the mythical hero, ..." -> "Then there's the mythical hero, ..."
    • "Size-wise, about they same as track and field shots. And about the same mass, I'd guess." -> "Size-wise, they are about the same as track and field shots, and about the same mass, I'd guess."
    • "...I see that we were too late." -> "...I see that we are too late."
    • "I gaze at life below, covered in dazzling prosperity." -> "I gaze at all the life below, covered in dazzling prosperity."
    • "You cling on to being a "good person" ..." -> "You cling to being a "good person" ..."
    • "Don't want to be hated, so you try to be good." -> "You don't want to be hated, so you try to be good."
    • "The notion of an Heroic Spirit ..." -> "The notion of a Heroic Spirit ..."
    • "Even with Kenaz rune, ..." -> "Even with the Kenaz rune, ..."
    • "In addition, their appearance. A form that is physiologically repulsive, nails that stick out like blades, a bark-like rough body." -> "In addition to that, their appearance is physiologically repulsive, with nails that stick out like blades and a bark-like, rough body."
    • "If several of them attack a human, it is not possible to survive without firearms." -> "If several of them attacked a human, they would not survive without firearms."
    • "They're not much, but they're still live, slicing up a few ought to be fun" -> "They're not much, but they're still alive, so slicing up a few ought to be fun"
    • The first few lines in this script need to be re-written in my opinion, but I'm not sure myself how to change them, since I can't grasp the original concept of the Japanese sentence. I can understand the generalization of what's being conveyed, but I think it would be best if a translator took a look at the first 15-20 lines or so and it's wording.
      • I suspect not much can be done there - it's just the author's... style. Ranmafan (talk)
    • "I was used to getting hated and getting killed, but getting cried at? That isn't love." -> "I was used to being hated and getting killed, but getting cried at? That isn't love." The part I put in Italics confused me a bit, since I don't quite understand the meaning of that piece of the sentence (but getting cried at?), and so I'm unsure of what to change it to. There is no ? in the Japanese script, so I'm assuming that section wasn't mean to be phrased in a questioning way.
      • He means Bazett crying because of him, more or less. The part about "love" isn't quite right, but I think it fits in better. Ranmafan (talk)
    • "At nighttime, you will be resurrected" -> "At night-time, you will be resurrected"
      • For all I know, "night-time" is not commonly used... Ranmafan (talk)
        • I was taught that the hyphenated version is the "correct" version, but I'm not sure if it's commonly used in casual writing, so it's up to you if you'd like to keep it as is, or change it. Rillania
    • "If I don't, I'm not going to be able to stay insane." Does he mean sane instead of insane?
    • "Often this brought my parents at a loss of what to do with me." ->"This caused my parents to often be at a loss as to what to do with me."
      • I think this one's a tad wordy. Changed to "put... at a loss as to what to do". Ranmafan (talk)
    • The last sentence I had on this list was an accidental copy/paste I didn't notice I forgot to delete, so I removed it. Rillania


  • 真・冒頭-03.ks.po
    • "But I got used even to that." -> "But I even got used to that."
    • "The stripping of human rights, the stripping of human dignity, the stripping of freedom." ->"The stripping of human rights, dignity, and freedom."
    • "Well, it's not worth to torture yourself over, now is it?" -> "Well, it's not worth torturing yourself over, now is it?"
    • "...you would be depressed for losing..." -> "...you would be depressed over losing..."
    • "...the cheapest, the worst, and the most common place to eat in Shinto." -> "...the cheapest, worst, and most common place to eat in Shinto."
    • "With honesty, with diligence, and sometimes with sharpness." ->"With honesty, diligence, and sometimes sharpness."
    • "That kind of matter, I don't think it has anything to do with the Heaven's Feel" ->"I don't think that kind of matter has anything to do with the Heaven's Feel"
    • "Among the most powerful while being a basic emotion." -> "It's one of the most powerful basic emotions"
    • "As I have been training until that time..." ->"As I had been training until that time..."
    • " I think she is fed up with me to the bottom of her heart." -> "I think she is fed up with me from the bottom of her heart."
    • "...Yes. Being about this relaxed..." ->"...Yes. Being this relaxed..."
    • "...for an Heroic Spirit" ->"a Heroic Spirit"
    • "...any complains about Master's name..." ->"...any complaints about Master's name..."
    • "Blow off your whole torso it did." ->"Blew off your whole torso it did."
      • Sorry, this one I really can't agree with - it just breaks what's left of reasonable grammar in that sentence... Ranmafan (talk)
  • 真・冒頭-04.ks.po
    • Couldn't find anything wrong with this script. Rillania
  • 真・冒頭-05.ks.po
    • "...prana I receive from Bazett..." -> "...prana I received from Bazett..."
    • "...we couldn't even fight it, let alone win" -> "we couldn't fight it, let alone win."
    • "Instead, it'd completely revived..." -> "Instead, it had completely revived..."
    • "And, seizing me by the scruff of the neck..." ->"And, seizing me by the scruff of my neck..."
    • "I only feel that that..." -> "I only feel that..."
    • "But what it really is?" -> "But what is it really?"
    • "She's already forgotten all about me and making a beeline..." ->"She's already forgotten all about me and is making a beeline..."
    • "They're pretty much useless as gloves any more after Fragarach reduced them to cinders..." ->"They're pretty much useless as gloves after Fragarach reduced them to cinders..."
    • "...in in the enemy camp?" -> "....in the enemy camp?"
    • "...who kills any Master to enter the forest." -> "...who kills any Master that enters the forest."
    • "...I don't really have much to say to you, now no longer a Master." -> "...I don't really have much to say to you, now that you are no longer a Master."
    • "But, this really all right, Illya...?" -> "But, is this really all right, Illya..."
      • This one's intentional - Liz again! I'd rather just leave it like that. Ranmafan (talk)


[edit] Untranslated Scene Warning Error

  • 衛宮邸・夜マップ-26.ks.po
    • On the map the "Not Translated" logo appears on mouseover despite the scene being translated and validated.
Ahh. Forgot to remove that one from the list, thanks for catching. Ranmafan

[edit] Unverified scenes (wishlist)

  • (done) 衛宮邸・4日目-41 (Caster cooking)
  • (done) 衛宮邸・夜マップ-14 (sets an important flag)
  • (done) 衛宮邸・夜マップ-22
  • (done) 街編・4日目-19
  • As a sort of amendment to this list, I notice that most of the Tohsaka Shrine scripts (for the ema and the scenes you get with omikuji sometimes) are untranslated, even they're all done and validated on the site.
You are probably looking at the wrong column. Only one omikuji and a few of the ema scenes are validated at the moment. Ranmafan
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