Period:Error Reports

This is the Error Reporting page for Period.

For typos/spelling/grammar, please provide the problem line (as well as the nearest identifiable line, if the line in question is something like "......").

For in-game crashes, please provide the line immediately before the crash (or the nearest identifiable line, as above).

[edit] Typos/Spelling/Grammar

Common 7/5 - Jun'ya: "You heard him too Mitsuki! That cold speech, he didn't used to by the kind of kid to say things like that!" - "be"
Common 7/6 - "As I was munching on Iinchou's fragrent, delicious cookies, I thought," - "fragrant"
Common 7/7 - Rusty: "M-Mizukara? What's 'Noytkar?'" - "M-Mizuhara"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/21 - Jun'ya: "In addition, the sweetner uses xylitol which is so good for the health of your teeth!" - "sweetener"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Kohane: "Amamia... san? Amamiya-san" - "Amamiya"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Wind Player 2: "That girls, she practices alone on the roof a lot, what if you try going there?" - "girl"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Wind Player 2: "Look, I'm really religious, so it's, like, better to nice to an angel, right?" - "to be nice"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Arisa: "With or without that things that happened just now, it doesn't change the fact that I hate you." - "those" - This sentence is kind of awkward. Maybe "Setting aside what happened just now, it doesn't change the fact that I hate you" would be a better way to phrase this sentence.
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Asahi: "I mean, why do you keet frightening a good girl like Kohane-chan!" - "keep"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/11 - Koto: "Well them, shall we go?" - "then"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/11 - "Putting the so-called Aurora sauce on it, with ketchup and mayonnaise in a 1:2 ratio, is more better." - "better" or "even better"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/11 - Mitsuki: "I thought is was disappearing quicker than it should......" - "it"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/11 - "It really looked like a younger sister seeing and rushing over to her beloved older bother" - "brother"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/14 - Mitsuki: "Look, you told me before that you deliver bread, right? So I though, I wonder if I would see her if I wandered around." - "thought"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/16 - Kohane: "You could say I have a tendancy to be stingy, a little... I'm just cheap, please don't worry about that." - "tendency"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/16 - Mitsuki: "......Don't tell me you're going to practices that seriously, Jun'ya." - "practice"
Kohane 9/1 - "It was understandable that Jun'ya raised his voice, since you tell at a glance that she was beautiful." - "you could tell"
Kohane 9/28 - Yukina: "If you have time to ramble on and on, you can procede with the preparations for tomorrow." - "proceed" - Technically, this isn't actually wrong, but "procede" is an old form of "proceed" and probably just a typo. It would probably be best to change it.
Kohane 9/29 - Mitsuki: "I'm Amamiya Mitsuki, second year B-group. Regarding this case, I have an objection to the charge itself." - "second year, class B" - In this situation, "group" is normally translated as "class". But it might be better to change the whole thing to "class 2-B" to make it simpler.
Kohane 9/29 - Arisa: "I am Nabejima Arisa, first year C-group." - "first year, class C" - Same reasoning as above.
Aoi 9/10 - Mitsuki: "But... apologizing to each other like this, isn't really elegant, is it? With the esthetics of apologies" - "aesthetics" - This is another one that is technically correct, but "aesthetics" is a much more common way of spelling it (at least in U.S. English). There are also two more sentences after this one that use the same spelling.
Aoi 9/10 - "A little hurridly, Aoi looked away from me and dropped in a coin." - "hurriedly"
Aoi 10/6 - Mitsuki: "......Well, the man part inside of me was thinking it wants to get your pregnant." - "you"
Aoi 10/6 - Aoi: "Well-, somehow, I have alot to be happy about...... I can't stop grinning." - "a lot"

Thanks for all the help - all typos will be fixed in the next release, and I changed the awkward sentence to "Regardless of what happened just now..." 'Setting aside' sounded too neutral/helpful; 'regardless' sounds a little more hostile. For the year/group stuff - I forgot I left those in as-is; I meant to change it to sophomore/junior. I need to do a general overhaul of grade levels because I've caught myself being inconsistent with sophomore/junior/senior. I'll get it into the next release as well, and change 'group' to 'class.' Nekoyasha 20:11, 28 November 2011 (CST)

I'm still playing other routes, so I might be adding more things here. I've been trying to put them in order by date so it will be easier to find them, but that might be confusing since you've already looked at some of them; should I put new things after this? I agree that 'regardless' was the best way to write that sentence. Thanks for all the hard work! --Dan. 21:26, 28 November 2011 (CST)

Yes, please try to put it in the order you find it, and not the game order - it'll be easier for me to keep track of, and there's no problem searching for text in the ripped scripts. For 'more better,' that was intentional - Mitsuki actually thought those words (in English, spelled out in katakana). For 'practices,' I meant multiple practice events, but I can see how that sounds a little awkward; but if I change it to 'going to practice,' it sounds like the future tense of the verb practice, rather than the present tense of going to practice (the noun). English is such a fun language... 'Attending practice' might sound (more) better. All typos will be fixed in the next release. (Incidently, for misspellings like 'hurridly,' which apparently I use quite frequently, I search and fix them all at the same time, so if you see the same misspelling later you don't have to note it explicitly.) Thanks again! Nekoyasha 00:00, 29 November 2011 (CST)

I'll start putting them in the order I find them from now on. About 'practices,' it certainly is difficult to convey the proper meaning there.... 'Attending practice(s)' might give the right meaning, but it sounds a little awkward for high school students. I can't think of a better way than that to say it though. By the way, I've been taking screenshots, so if there's anything you can't find or something like that, I can upload them here. Again, thanks for all the hard work that lets people like me enjoy these games! --Dan. 01:06, 29 November 2011 (CST)

Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/20 - "Saying this, Sempai's right thumb pointed out my existance." - "existence"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/20 - Mitsuki: "You can't take when Sempai said seriously." - "what"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - School Director: "It will be my pleasure to meet you again a form more grown to adulthood as the second term comes around." - "in a form"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - "Despite the complements, even I knew well you couldn't say I have irreproachable conduct." - "compliments"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - Mitsuki: "I was coerced to participate in a student council-sponsored training camp." - There's nothing wrong with this, and it's more correct than what I'm going to suggest replacing it with, but I think my suggestion might be a little more natural: "coerced into participating" - I know it would sound like he had already participated if you didn't know he hadn't, but I think it sounds more natural. After all, people don't always speak in proper grammar. Just my opinion - obviously, the choice is yours.
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - Asahi: "Okay, in this case only I'll support Kawasaki-sempai." - "only, I'll" - Without the comma, it could be seen as Asahi being the only person that supports Kawaski-sempai.
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - "Recognizing Rin's lovliness once again, splendidly disturbed my thought process." - "loveliness" - Also, the comma in that sentence is unnecessary.
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - "If she's willing to reconciliate and choose me, this is an amazing conversation." - "reconcile"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/21 - Mitsuki: "You made that much of a snap judgement!" - In American English as well as internationally in law, "judgment" is used, but British English uses "judgement." I don't know what dialect you were going for, but I thought I'd let you know about this.
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 7/31 - Mitsuki: "What're you doing this with her, Rin!" - This sentence doesn't really make sense. Is he saying "what are you doing?" or "you're doing this with her?" or something else? Is the original line something confusing like this, translated this way on purpose?
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/1 - "I have a hunch I'd be happier if didn't leave, and got deserted on the island." - "if I didn't"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/1 - "A little wonderously, I felt that I was in a positive mood." - "wondrously"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/2 - "That's an easy to understand, yet deep metaphore." - "metaphor"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/2 - Rin: "<<I thought that being a 'trial' was rude request, but...>>" - "was a rude"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/5 - "Yesterday, if I hadn't have taken that phone call." - "hadn't"
Summer (Rin, Yukina) 8/5 - "Unconsciously I checked the operation of the A/C. The 'on' light was light for all it was worth." - I'm not exactly sure what this is supposed to say, but maybe this should be "lit"

I've been trying to include which part of the game it's in (Common, Summer, Rin, etc.), but I'm not really sure exactly where it switches. Hopefully you can figure it out by the date.

Rin 8/14 - "I hadn't though of it until a little while ago." - "thought"
Rin 8/14 - Mitsuki: "I've been spending a summer vacation completely void of plans." - "devoid"
Rin 8/14 - "What kind of clothes I should wear tomorrow." - This should probably be either "I wonder what kind of clothes I should wear tomorrow." or "What kind of clothes should I wear tomorrow?"
Rin 8/18 - "This yeah I'm going to be scolded by Rin, huh. Boo-hoo." - I'm not sure, but was that supposed to be "year?"
Rin 8/20 - "If only that falls, there would be an avalanch effect and we could proceed as 'boyfriend and girlfriend' " - "avalanche"
Rin 8/20 - "Actually, I've though of this once or twice." - "though" - I know you said you change all of the things that are the same at once, but since this typo is still a real word I thought I should still put it here.
Rin 8/20 - "Touching Rin's breast, just that seemed to fill by head." - "my"
Rin 8/20 - "There, was Rin's last fortress...... I would say except it they were too flimsy, the shorts." - "they"
Rin 8/20 - "Brushing against the tip was a feeling of soft flesh more luscious than had imagined." - "than I had"
Rin 8/20 - "Her slender, doe-like body slapped repeatedly against my comparitively larger one." - "comparatively"
Rin 8/25 - Rin's Mother: "Then why, I wonder, are your deep, rich thinking and your radient, hidden insight not roused?" - "radiant"
Rin 8/25 - "However. If by relying on something, I can release a radience many times greater than now..." - "However, if" "radiance"
Rin 9/4 - "Her expression as serious as if she was talking about herself, Chitose-chan's eyes seems a little wet." - "seem"
Rin 12/24 - "My immeasurable dispair, changed completely" - "despair"
Rin 12/24 - "I was told Rin was still unconscious from the anasthesia, and wouldn't wake until midday tomorrow." - "anesthesia"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Jun'ya: "...July is probably, wiped out. Tounament preparations." - "Tournament" - The comma in this sentence is unnecessary.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Tsuzumi: "I have not yet swam, but I know the main points." - "swum"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - Miyu: "You split the watermelon and eat it at the beach. It's the evening meal isn't it." - It seemed more like she was saying "It isn't the evening meal." Also, it might be better to change "evening meal" to "dinner" so it sounds a little more natural.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - "I feel like we've been swimming for a pretty long time, but... my sense if time is slowly getting numbed." - "of"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Aoi: "Thanks to persistance unlike Mitsuki's usual design, you've had a narrow escape, Yazuki-san. That's admirable, huh?" - "persistence"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/31 - Tsunaki: "Don't handle the school's common property roughly, I'll make you repay!" - This should be something more like "pay for it" or "reimburse the school" or something along those lines. Also, "the school's common property" is a bit strange; "school property" would do fine in there.
Miyu 8/7 - Asahi: "What a creep. Finishing homework at the start of summer vacation, that's proof of spending your days in lonliness" - "loneliness"
Miyu 8/9 - Mitsuki: "Okay then, let's eat...... Here, IInchou. Each a bunch and get big and strong." - "Eat"
Miyu 8/9 - "I'd rather have my patheticalness be a deception......" - "patheticness" unless that was on purpose?
Miyu 8/10 - Asahi: "Miyu, who calls him onii-chan, 13 years old. Mitsuki, who dispite his curt pose has a sister complex, 25 years old." - "despite"
Miyu 8/10 - Mitsuki: "With savage kids these days, there's someone who's interested in fairy tails like that?" - "tales"
Miyu 8/10 - "Next to Asahi, who was pressing her stomach over her clothes to assess it's condition, Iinchou tilted her head doubtfully." - "its"
Miyu 8/10 - Asahi: "Not at all? Ha-ha, the first time the two of came here...... you remember, right?" - "the two of us"
Miyu 8/21 - "Exchanging a rambling dialog, we were simply carefree." - "dialogue"
Miyu 8/21 - "The two of went into silent-eating mode." - "The two of us"
Miyu 9/2 - Mitsuki: "I've gotten the basics of cooking. From now one, even if it's just once in a while, I'll enjoy times like that... I guess." - "on"
Miyu 9/4 - Asahi: "What? Is it that your so relieved that Miyu got her cast of that you"re exhausted?" - "you're"
Miyu 9/4 - "Miyu's nipples, already swelling from her insistant behavior, became even harder." - "insistent"
Miyu 9/4 - Miyu: "Amamiya-kun, you're the person I can rely on most in the world...... You're my most important person......" - "Mitsuki-kun" is what she says

...Wow, that was quite a bit. A few notes:

About 'alot' - I know it's not grammatically correct, but I was trying to indicate how in informal speech it's often run together into one word. I haven't decided whether I should change this or not.
About 'reconciliate' - although it means the same thing as 'reconcile,' I feel 'reconciliate' is a little more informal and maybe more common.
About questions without question marks - I do this several times throught, often when a question is more rhetorical, thoughtful, or said with a falling intonation. To me, it's more an indication of intonation, and I feel that the wording still indicates that it's a question.
Yes, the sentence should have been "This year I'm going to be scolded by Rin, huh. Boo-hoo."
"However. If by relying on..." - It was a full stop in the original text; probably to indicate a longer pause than a comma.
About superfluous commas - also present in the original text (usually) and also used to indicate pauses in speech or thought.
About 'school's common property' - I left it in because he specifically said 'common property' (and I try not to leave out details in speech where I can), and Tsunaki speaks a little stiltedly anyway.
About 'patheticalness' - I actually see this in the dictionary and not 'patheticness' (Dictionary.com unabridged/Random House); but in either case I don't mind that it sounds a little goofy.

Everything else I corrected as given. Thanks again for all the work and effort, this is a big help! Nekoyasha 02:21, 2 December 2011 (CST)

I would do a few things differently, but it's mostly just my personal preference and this is your project. And knowing your reasoning also makes things clearer. I don't want to argue about grammar or word choice since it's an area with lots of correct answers. I do, however, want to say something about the commas, just to put it out there. In the Japanese, the commas indicate any pausing in the speech of the characters, but since the English doesn't match the voiced dialogue, it doesn't make sense (to me) to put in all of the commas. The comma in the example above makes a difference in the way the sentence is read because in "Recognizing Rin's loveliness once again, splendidly disturbed my thought process," it seems like "Realizing Rin's loveliness" is a separate clause, so I would expect a full sentence with a subject and predicate to follow (e.g. walking out the door, I grabbed my umbrella). With a comma there, it splits the sentence in half and doesn't match up to my expectations for the sentence. It almost makes it seem like there was the mistake of a missing subject when it is actually an unnecessary comma. I don't know if I really was able to say what I wanted to, but the unnecessary commas have me pausing while reading where I shouldn't be. Sometimes it just makes it sound funny, but other times it leads to confusion, as in the above example. This is all I have until the next patch comes out. Again, thank you so much for working on this project and for looking at all the things I've posted here. --Dan. 06:54, 2 December 2011 (CST)

Tsuzumi 7/27 - "There's nothing else to do but warm it up, huh. I need a phone book at a time like this...... I guess there're in pay phones." - "they're"
Tsuzumi 7/27 - "Although she was relieved, Mizuhara gazed as the parrot with concern." - "at"
Tsuzumi 8/5 - Mizuhara: "...Nothing absolute, exists in this world. Everything is protean." - There's nothing wrong with this, but it's a very obscure word, and it has a meaning more like versatile or adaptable. A better choice might be something like 'fickle' or 'transient.' Just a suggestion.
Tsuzumi 8/9 - Asahi: "You'd wanna go take a peak right away and...... heh-heh♪ Alas, the birds wouldn't go near the birdhouse." - "peek"
Tsuzumi 8/26 - "Although it was as like as can be......" - This doesn't make any sense - "as ___ as can be" should have an adjective. I'm not really sure what you were trying to do here.
Tsuzumi 8/26 - "My hips and Tsuzumi's butt collided, creating an constant sharp sound." - "a"

That's all I found in Tsuzumi's route. --Dan. 12:08, 19 December 2011 (CST)

About 'there're' - I was going for 'I guess there are (phone books) in pay phones,' but I can see that 'they're' might be better because he's not questioning the existence of phone books.
About 'protean' - You're right, that's not quite the right nuance. I changed it to 'volatile.'
About 'like' - There was a missing word - I meant to say 'as like her as can be,' but that seems a little clumsy, so I changed it to 'as consistent with her as you can get.'

Everything else corrected as given. Hopefully you had less work this time, since I ran the whole damn thing through a spellchecker first :) It found dozens of typos neither of us caught the first time. Incidentally, why the hell do I use the British spelling for so many words? I live in the US, and don't read that many non-American English-language books... Anyway, thanks again! Nekoyasha 12:33, 19 December 2011 (CST)

Good job, and thanks for all the work you always put into this! --Dan. 15:42, 19 December 2011 (CST)

Kohane - 8/16 - "Although, far from no one being up yet, I could see a few rooms with lights one" - should be lights on. Just noticed this one by chance. Thought I'd mention it. MightyGroudon 16:30, 20 December 2011 (CST)

Thanks, will be fixed in the next release. Nekoyasha 18:25, 20 December 2011 (CST)

Yukina 8/2 - Yukina: "It's not so far. Near to the arcade." - It sounds a little unnatural like this. "Near" on its own is probably better.
Yukina 8/2 - "Certainly I coulnd't help it even if she told me to dress up; in the first place I don't have to kind of clothes to dress up with." - "the"
Yukina 8/5 - Yukina: "Ah, right now Papa went out shopping for the things were running low on. I think he'll be getting back soon-" - "we were" or "we're"
Yukina 8/5 - "The counter, the burner, the sink and everything else was clean and well tended, reminiscent of his personality." - "were"
Yukina 8/5 - Mitsuki: "Phew...... there's no break in these customer, huh." - "these customers"
Yukina 8/5 - "Quickly following Sempai as she hoisted hers and spoke, I and Kohane-chan and Rin, and the Master raised our glasses." - "Kohane-chan and Rin, and the Master and I" - "I" is supposed to be last with a list of subjects.
Yukina 8/5 - Rin: "It's a flavor I've never drank before." - "drunk" - but "had" or "tasted" might sound more natural.
Yukina 8/6 - "In the middle of this heat, she was walking with an cool expression......" - "a"
Yukina 8/6 - "Looking at the clock after hearing Sempai's words, the hands was past 1 o'clock." - "were"
Yukina 9/6 - "The hand that a reached out had touched something...... that fact, made me happy." - "I"
Yukina 9/6 - Yukina: "Like I've eaten at some time long ago, or not." - "it"
Yukina 9/11 - "Holding it in my mouth, it was just as I thought, somehow...... despite it's deep body, it felt clean." - "its"
Yukina 9/12 - "Of course this place faces a public road, there's no way she's come out looking like that." - "she'd"
Yukina 9/15 - Tsunaki: " * mumblemumblemumble * ......" - I'm assuming the original Japanese doesn't tell you what he's actually saying, but someone playing this who understands Japanese can understand what he says, so maybe you should put in the meaning? Maybe something like" *mumble* What is this? Even though I'm the president... *mumble* " or something? Just a suggestion, since what he says isn't important or anything, but if I couldn't understand it I would be a little annoyed. (I played a different game where there was something like this, but what the character said was actually important, and it would have been different if I couldn't understand it.)
Yukina 9/25 - Yukina: "In that case, my head...... might forget the things I've experiences up till now." - "experienced"
Yukina 9/25 - "With her pussy having just came, I could tell even from a distance that it was wet." - "come"

'Near to...' - changed to 'Close to...'
'...eaten at some time...' - changed to '...eaten it at some point...'
About *mumblemumblemumble* - Yes, the original text was literally *mumblemumblemumble* (butsubutsubutsu). I don't know... I normally don't like to change the text so radically, but maybe in this case I should, since the situation isn't parallel to the original Japanese version (Japanese speakers can probably clearly understand at least a few words of what he's mumbling).

All others fixed as give. Thanks again! When I finish the last patch (still a few months out, more than likely) do you mind taking a look at it before I release it? It'd be better if there were no fix patches after the last release. Nekoyasha 20:10, 21 February 2012 (CST)

I don't mind, but I can't guarantee I'll get everything. Thanks so much for all the work you put into this. --Dan. 02:00, 22 February 2012 (CST)

Common - 7/5 - "If we don't show out true feelings through action..." "out" - should be our. Another I noticed just by chance, during a replay. It occurs right after the first choice. MightyGroudon 15:12, 27 May 2012 (CST)

Thanks again, will be fixed in the next (last!) release. Nekoyasha 17:19, 27 May 2012 (EDT)

[edit] Asahi QC

Here's the QC for Asahi's route. I can't promise I got everything, but I hope I didn't miss too much. Koto's route QC will come soon. --Dan. 21:14, 20 June 2012 (EDT)

There are several sentences that are turned into questions with "isn't it" or "aren't you" or similar things that end with a period when they should end with a question mark. I've pointed them out here, but I'm not sure if I noticed them in earlier patches, so you might want to search for all "isn't it." and replace them with "isn't it?" or something. Also, where I marked theme here, it's hard to see because a bold period isn't very different from a normal period, sorry.
When you repeat a word (yeah yeah / okay okay / sure sure / right right / now now / there there / oi oi / hey hey / sorry sorry), you might want to put a comma between (yeah, yeah / etc.). I don't know if it's necessary, but I think it looks better that way.

Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "Well, what're you getting all hostile for." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Mitsuki: "Think carefully now and remember, who it was putting forward these ridiculous theories." - "now, and remember"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "*sigh~* ... Since when have you been like this." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "Even your mental state's changed, hasn't it. You hate it, don't you? The ocean, and pools." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "Huh? Don't get cocky. I don't get every little thing about your behavior." - "understand" is clearer than "get" - it seems like maybe this should be "remember," since they're talking about the past.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - ???: "You're good at swimming, aren't you, Mitsuki. I had to hurry a little, partway through." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "It's fine if the swimsuit gets wet! But it feels bad to walk around with the rain beating on you, doesn't it." = "?" - also, you might want to make it "rain beating down on you"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - "As for the time, it hadn't even been 10 minutes, had it." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - "......What'm I doing." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - ???: "Huh~~~? It's Mitsuki, isn't it. Don't tell me you went for a swim!?" - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - "I was probably making an incredibly stupid face, wasn't I." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Mitsuki: "Er, it's just funny for some reason. I mean, you're laughing too, aren't you." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "There's no cause here other than you, is there. Heh-heh-heh" - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Mitsuki: "Rough? Who do you think I am. Me, who if I trained properly I could set my sights on the Olympics?"- "?"; "I, who if I trained properly, could"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "Looks like it. He's a re~ally obedient guy, isn't he." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "What's with that depressing face!" - "?" or "!?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Asahi: "Looking at those pretty things with everyone like this, today was an especially good day, wasn't it." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Aoi: "You sure got in a good mood, didn't you. *giggle*, you were in a foul mood the whole time you were riding on the boat." - "?"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Aoi: "Asahi, she talked about you the whole time, Mitsuki. Like 'That lazybones,' or 'He really has no cooperation!'" - "Asahi" or "That Asahi, she"; "He really doesn't know how to cooperate" or "He doesn't have any sense of cooperation" or "He's so anti-social"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/25 - Mitsuki: "What're you talking about, idiot." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - ???: "There's so many here, *sniff* ... why can't I find one." - "?" - Also, "There are" is correct grammatically, but lots of people say "there's" when it should be "there are," and the speaker is a child, so it's not really wrong. Just thought I'd bring it to your attention.
Asahi 7/28 - ???: "Huh? My elbow sunk in. Hey-, don't get up so suddenly. It's dangerous, isn't it." - "sank"; "?" or getting rid of "isn't it" might sound better
Asahi 7/28 - "I let out a voiceless moan, and a strange sweat ran from me......" - This sounds kind of awkward; maybe "ran from my pores" or just "started"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "How can I be alright! ......ooh... what kind of sin have I committed for this......" - "!?"; "to deserve this"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "Who's a Namahage!" - "!?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "You're the one that said it, aren't you!" - "!?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "I thought it'd be mean coming all of a sudden, that's why I sent an email. Didn't you see it?" - ', so I sent an email." or ". That's why I sent an email."
Asahi 7/28 - "What's this woman doing, so filled with self-satisfaction." -"?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "How long're you gonna stay half-asleep." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - "Really— It's not like it's even raining, is it." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - "......What'm I talking about." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "Don't stay half-asleep forever, there, look at that." - ". There,"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "What're you talking about. This's about the choral competition." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "You said you'd cooperate, didn't you." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "It's boring to practice by yourself, isn't it. You just have to come with me and do whatever." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "I got it, let me eat breakfast." - ". Let"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "At least it's not a town, is it" - "It isn't really a town, is it?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "What's up with the sigh." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "Disappointment about this, pushing water uphill. I'v missed this, how long's it been, since the two of us have walked like this." - ". How"; "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "Huh? What's this, all of a sudden." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "It's not the kind of job that takes two people, is it, well, later." - "? Well"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "There isn't any kind of person who would sneak in here, is there." - "Nobody would want to sneak in here, would they?" or "Nobody would want to sneak into a place like this, would they?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "There's high-priced things here too, aren't there? In a special classroom like this." - "There are"
Asahi 7/28 - "Finding the answer yourself is best. She walked to the grand piano, her head cocked, raised the prop, and lifted the lid." - It seems like these should be in the opposite order, since you can't raise the prop while the lid is closed. I don't know what order it's in in Japanese, but how it is now is backwards, even if it matches the Japanese.
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "I practice alone, it's different when you play in front of someone. Even someone like you is a person." - ". It's"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "That's the reason I invited you, isn't it. Don't waste your attention to detail." - "?"; "Don't worry about the details" or "Don't sweat the small stuff" is better because the phrase "attention to detail" has its own meaning.
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "I'm a little nervous! Your listening is like it's eating into me. Read a book or something." - "just a little"; "It's like your listening is eating away at me"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "I'm not used to performing for people...... I'll start with you, you're pretty okay even if I show you something embarrassing." - ". You're"
Asahi 7/28 - "Friends since we were born, it was far better than to be though of as 'that guy I can't show anything embarrassing to.'" - "thought"
Asahi 7/28 - ???: ".........Why" - add a "?"
Asahi 7/28 - "...A dream isn't something you forget right when you wake up, is it." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - "I thought earnestly about the obvious fact, I don't understand her tastes these days, do I." - "." or ";" or ":"; "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "Eh? Yeah...... huh, what's that. Those drinks." - "?"; "..."
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "I went out to buy them; you really didn't notice, huh." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "Oi Oi, we've known each other for a long time, haven't we. Everyone in the neighborhood knew about Thoughtful Mitsuki-kun." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "The performance itself was pretty good, wasn't it." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Mitsuki: "If you wanna proper suggestion, don't ask someone like me. Wouldn't Iinchou or Aoi be more helpful?" - "want to" - "wanna" is generally used only for "want to," not "want a"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "Don't jump to conclusions. Somehow or other, you were always listening to my piano back then, weren't you." - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "If you notice something, let me know. Even thought it may seem fine, I'm feeling pressured." - "though"; "I'm feeling the pressure" or "I'm under some pressure here"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "*pha*, thanks for the drink. Now! Shall I try it again one more time?" - "one more time" - "again" and "one more time" mean the same thing, so it's awkward to have them both there next to each other. Also, "Now! Shall" might be better as "Now, shall"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "It's hard, I don't understand... whadda you mean ." - "."; "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "How is it, Mitsuki. Isn't my piano good?" - "?"
Asahi 7/28 - Asahi: "I'm done here... if you have something to do we can go back pretty soon?" - "do, we"; "."
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "I see... And so, you came to see my beloved face? Ha-ha, you're a cutey." - "lovely"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "I just gotta straighten up the magazines, throw my clothes in the washer, right? Yeah, this's well within my tolerances." - " and"; "what I can tolerate"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "We can't rely on that so we have to do it ourselves, don't we! Just follow me obediently." - !?
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "It's not that I don't understand your feelings. Yes... it's looks like I wasn't considerate enough in this case." - "it"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "What's with that sympathetic expression." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Jun'ya: " 'Got any porno books~!!' " - "!?"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "You understand, don't you." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "Hey-, unusually submissive, aren't you." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "...That's true. I certainly can't deny you could cal it an insipid life, but..." - "call"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "...Then, you don't have to concern yourself with someone like me, do you." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - "If she's said 'I'll do that,' I wonder what I was planning on doing." - "she'd"
Asahi 7/29 - "She didn't follow me, as a took a few steps forward." - "I"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "In what way have I changed." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "Anything and everything getting changed by the flow of time, it's lonely, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "It was there! Cherry trees bloom in February these days, it's not so strange for a firefly to poke his head out in July." - ". It's"
Asahi 7/29 - Asahi: "Look, there it is, isn't it!" - "!?" or change it to "Look, it's right there, isn't it!?"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "Back then, it hadn't been developed that much around here either. There were a lot of them, weren't there... fireflies." - "this area wasn't that developed, either"; "?"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "...I know. Back then, every time you found one you'd go running around chasing it, wouldn't you. And then fall over." - "?"; "then you'd fall"
Asahi 7/29 - "She murmured this in a resigned way, as she dusted her skirt that wasn't all that dirty" - "dusted off"
Asahi 7/29 - Mitsuki: "......What would i do, if I caught her." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Just like I thought! It's gonna be noon pretty soon. How long are you gonna sleep during the day to be satisfied." - "before you're satisfied?" or "for your own satisfaction?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Don't flap your lips! How much're you gonna make me interfere before you're satisfied." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "When did I say that! Okay, question. What day might it be today-?" - "!?"; ": what"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "We're going that far anyway, I'll invite Tsuzumi and Jun'ya too. We'll really do it up." - "Since we're going that far"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "I said this was the plan for your salvation, didn't I, dummy." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - "What's the plan for saving a third-round draft." - "draft pick?"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "I'm an idiot, aren't I." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Ta-dah! How is it, I bought it with Miyu." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Even though there was a guy here...... it seemed I wasn't in their field of view as the joked around together." - "they"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Whoa, what's that. Did you say that seriously?" - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "What I'm even more sorry about, apparently with my lack of cohesive power, Jun'ya...... and Mizuhara......" - "about is that,"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Don't get all depressed!? It'll be fun with the three of us, I'm looking forward to it." - "!"; "."
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Really~? That's mean, I think Amamiya-kun is a kind person." - "."
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Ah~, you're laughing. You're mean too, Asahi~, everybody treats me like a child." - ". Everybody"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Whoa~... there's so many people, my knees are shaking." - "there are"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "It's magnificent this year too, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Fireworks, and food stalls... hauu~n♪ There's so much fun." - "It's so much fun" or "It will be so much fun" or "There are so many fun things"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "Hey, don't stagger, Iinchou. In this crown... you'd usually get lost." - "you'll" or "you might" or "you could"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "......What's with the weird face." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Okay okay, let's end the gloomy talk there, okay? Today's a festival, we have to have fun." - "festival. We" or "festival, so we"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "...That's right. Isn't there something you want to eat? Iinchou. Like a candy apple." - "eat, Iinchou?"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Found it! I made a breakthrough, the characters for yakisoba by the crowd over there. Miyu, Mitsuki, cut through." - ". The"; "are by"
Asahi 8/12 - "Where Iinchou tugged in my shirt and pointed to was in the opposite direction of Asahi's rush." - "on"; "the direction opposite the one Asahi was rushing"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Hey, what're you doing, Mitsuki! I can't carry three helpings of yakisoba~" - "!?"; "yakisoba myself"
Asahi 8/12 - ???: "You're right, it's Amamiya-kun." - ". It's"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Huh~? It's Aoi, isn't it. And Koto-sensei and Kohane-chan too." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Koto: "Ah, crap. I don't have my license...... I'll stopped by the guy at the stall, won't I." - "I'll be stopped"; "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "There's soo many accessory booths. Today's a good day-" - "There're" - And I'm assuming that "soo" was on purpose
Asahi 8/12 - Kohane: "Yazuki-san likes accessories, doesn't she. She seems to be having a lot of fun...... heh-heh" - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "That reminds me, Kohane-chan, you haven't eaten anything for a while, have you. Aren't you having fun yet?" - "? Are"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "But, when you look like your having fun, Kohane-chan, I'm enjoying myself too." - "you're"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "...I'm sorry, you're serious, aren't you." - ". You're"; "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Miyu: "Even so, to you, Amamiya-kun, Asahi is still a girl who's a childhood friend, isn't she." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "...What's the matter? Iinchou. You're like this all of a sudden." - "matter, Iinchou, acting like this all of a sudden?"
Asahi 8/12 - Mitsuki: "What's happened to us, really. Iinchou, and me..." - ", Iinchou and me"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "......Nn? Wait, Mitsuki. What're you doing all subdued by yourself. You have to get excited at a time like this." - "?"
Asahi 8/12 - "Our arms linked in a casual gesture, I was pulled forward." - "gesture. I" or "gesture, and I" or add "As" to the beginning of the sentence
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Even though you hate stuff like this kind of textbook summer charm. It's important to decide to have fun too." - ", it's"
Asahi 8/12 - Asahi: "Why didn't you say it! Is your heart that withered." - "!?"; "?"
Asahi 8/12 - Kohane: "People... are strong, aren't they. That they can laugh to overcome sadness." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - "With the air like it was clinging to my skin...... it was unpleasant weather." - "air feeling like"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "You don't have to talk in that intentionally spiteful way, do you." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "What's with that face." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "That just now, that was the piece you were practicing for the choral competition, wasn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Ooh...... playing carefree is completely different from playing while concentrating like this, isn't it?" - "carefreely" or "without a care"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "I didn't say I hated it, not really. It's not something I normally do, but I don't mind." - "I'd"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "I know it's not something you normally do, that's why I asked you, isn't it. You can take a nap or whatever." - "you'd"; ";"; "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Ahn..... I made another mistake. Why can't I play it good here." - "?" - also, correct grammar would be "play it well," but she's a little kid and even many adults don't know how to use "good" and "well"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "When he handed over the music, he said, you can play this with your skill. As far as that goes, his choice was funny, wasn't it." - " 'you can play this with your skill.' " (in single quotes); "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Don't change the subject, dummy. We're talking about short fingers, aren't we." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "You're so smug, aren't you, treating me like a nuisance all of a sudden." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Yuuichi: "Yes, that's a good tone, isn't it. It's because you relaxed, right?" - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Yuuichi: "We've captured a good image, shall we take a break? You look like you're bored too, Mitsuki." - ". Shall"
Asahi 8/14 - "His eyes, they don't reflect anything else, do they?" - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Oh, you remembered? Nostalgic, isn't it. It's a very precious song to me......" - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "It's good, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "I'm gonna practice just a little more. It's not all that late yet, is it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - "Everything was changed. The way Asahi smiled, was completely different from back then......" - "had changed" or "was different"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "Back then, you would practice the piano at the house every day, wouldn't you." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "Who's the King of the Brats." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Then we won't be able to go home, will we! Don't be a dangerous instigator." - "!?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "Either way's fine, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - "That's an affectation, isn't it? What was he talking about, Trifolium repens." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Clover applies to the flower doesn't it. They look a little like chrysanthemums." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "What're you doing, making fun of me! I'm not gonna give you any." - "!?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Even though Yuuichi-san said it's a special place, why do you have to talk like that. Idiot." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "If you don't like it you didn't have to come, did you. Hmph, you wanna go home? Go home-" - "it,"; "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "It is strange, you can do anything, can't you?" - ". You"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "You don't have anything you're bad at, do you. Everyone says you're amazing at studying and sports too." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "You've been playing baseball for so long, Yuuichi-san, you could definitely have become a pro player!" - ". You"
Asahi 8/14 - Yuuichi: "It's not that I don't like getting praised, but...... it seems like you're getting carried away flattering me, doesn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Mitsuki: "It's something like that, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - "I was thinking, you were the one who brought it up, what are you doing drawing back by yourself." - "up, so what"; "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Yuuichi: "You're really searching with all your might, aren't you, Mitsuki. Perhaps there's a wish you want granted too?" - "?"
Asahi 8/14 - Asahi: "Eh? Why, we can come any time. It's not that far from the house." - "Why? We"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "I guess it's motherly love. You were irrational about the dorm, give her a shoulder rub when you come home." - ". Give"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "There's DVDs in the house from a certain South Korean drama she's borrowed from your mom." - "There are"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "After I went in the dorm, I didn't even come across them anymore...... It's good they're doing well." - "moved into"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "They're not at the age where they're getting old, are they." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "It's the sense of time, right? They say that a year feels shorter to a 30-year-old than a 15-year-old, don't they." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "She said, it's already this season, is it~. Bizarrely seriously." - " 'it's already this season, is it~?' " (single quotes and a ?)
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "It's been a while since you've seen Mitsuki, isn't it, Yuuichi-san. I guess...... He's only gotten taller." - "hasn't"; "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "That's right, you can put the bucket over there. I'll light the incense." - ". You"
Asahi 8/16 - "How am I reflected in your eyes, right now." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Yuuichi: "Is that how it sounds? But I just normally think, she's cute, isn't she." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Yuuichi: "I thought, it would be important to Mitsuki, too, wouldn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "Why. I know...... that Asahi likes you. It's not really a surprise." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "W-what...... Then I look like a coward" - "coward."
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "W-what, I don't understand what you mean. What're you trying to say." - "?"; "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "Whaddya mean by like." - " 'like?' " (in single quotes with a ?)
Asahi 8/16 - Yuuichi: "Is that so, then it's fine." - "? Then"
Asahi 8/16 - "He'd saved a drowning child from the rising river, taken it to the shore...... after that, he was washed away, his strength gone." - You should probably just pick "him" or "her" because "it" sounds bad when you're talking about a human being.
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Why...... i'm looking so hard, *sob*, why can't I find one." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Yuuichi-san was saying...... a four-leaf clover grants wishes!" - "said"
Asahi 8/16 - "From head to toe, he was cool, and perfect...... wasn't he." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "It's raining harder......" - "The rain is getting harder"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "So what, if we look a little more we'll find it! Help me." - "? If"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "What'll you do if you catch a cold or something! Before this, we already searched and didn't find one, right?" - "!?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "It's not, there's no four-leaf clover...... Good luck isn't something you can just pick up so easily." - ". There's"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "It's been a while. Yuuichi-san's happy to hear your voice, too, isn't he, Mitsuki." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Whaddya mean by disgusted." - " 'disgusted?' " (single quotes and ?)
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "It's okay to laugh. He's not...... here anymore, what're you doing being depressed forever." - ". What're"; "doing,": "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Why, why...... would you say something like that. Yuuichi-san was alive. He was here." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Why, would someone who saved a child let go of the shore so soon after carrying them there." - like I said before, you should just choose a gender, then use it here too; "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "......They said he used up all his strength, didn't they." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - "The more she talked the more painful it got, so why...... why was she digging into the wound." - "talked,"; "?"
Asahi 8/16 - "Pushing away, though our own will, the hand held out to us; that's something I'm familiar with, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "Being fixated on Yuuichi-san being perfect, you've put yourself in a bad place...... to escape. Isn't that right." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "You're the one who dragged Yuuichi-san down the most aren't you." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "Yuuichi, Yuuichi, Yuuichi. What are you to Yuuichi!" - "!?"
Asahi 8/16 - Asahi: "What was that!" - "!?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "What!" - "!?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "Why'ja ask, idiot. You can tell by my voice, can't you." - "?"; "?"
Asahi 8/16 - Mitsuki: "Hey, Jun'ya. What's it take to be a popular guy." - "?"
Asahi 8/16 - "So far beyond my abilities...... is that so." - "?"
Asahi 9/1 - Aoi: "You were fascinated by Mitsuki, weren't you. Yahn, I wonder if the usual pattern for men and women flared up this summer?" - "?"
Asahi 9/1 - Asahi: " Normally it'd be the opposite, wouldn't it! That, Little Prince of Goofing-Off. For your information, this's a disaster." - "?"
Asahi 9/1 - Asahi: "Kya!? What're you doing! Whaddya think you're doing, eavesdropping on a conversation between girls?" - "!?"
Asahi 9/1 - Mitsuki: "How far are you going to underestimate me." - "?"
Asahi 9/1 - Asahi: "Watch you...... full of confidence, aren't you." - "?"
Asahi 9/1 - Asahi: "Hey, Mitsuki...... by any chance, are you" - add "—" to the end
Asahi 9/1 - Mitsuki: "Who're you calling Micchi! Son't make your own carelessness out to be someone's fault......" - "!?"; "someone else's" - while not strictly correct, "someone else's" is incredibly common in everyday speech; it would sound pompous to use more correct grammar here
Asahi 9/6 - Jun'ya: "What're you talking about, Mitsuki-kun. Combination X is where I become a decoy and lure away the enemy." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "...The game's already started. You're on the basketball team, you should be active at a time like this." - ". You"
Asahi 9/6 - "This fatigue wasn't bad...... was it. Instead, it felt good." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "......What's he aiming for. He's not that kind of character, is he." - "?"; "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Miyu: "......? You're not rooting for him too, Asahi." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Jun'ya: "Huh? Mitsuki's state at the dorm...... it's normal. What's the matter? Why're you worried about something like that." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Hey, that's weird...... I mean, it's weird for him, isn't it. And then what? At the dorm." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Jun'ya: "......If you force me to say it." - this should probably end with an ellipsis (...), and "If I had to say" sounds more natural
Asahi 9/6 - Jun'ya: "......Well, he's not an irresponsible person at heart, is he." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "......You really have changed, haven't you. And quick." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "......Then, where." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Is that so." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "What would I do if I lost my nerve now." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "What traces." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "That's...... then why so suddenly, h-how" - add "—" to the end
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "I can't rival someone who's not even here, it's so ridiculous, isn't it." - ". It's"; "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "What's he doing for you! Every time you think about him, you...... can't stop from crying, can you." - "!?"; "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "What is it about forgetting, why...... do I have to forget Yuuichi-san." - "? Why"; "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Go ahead and be shocked...... just leave me alone, I can go wherever I want, can't I!" - "."; "!?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Asahi, I" - add "—" to the end
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Mitsuki, you think...... that the memories of Yuuichi-san are causing me pain, don't you. You're kind." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "How tragic a man am I going to make myself out to be." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "Forgetting is my signature move, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "He won't come, that's why I'm sad...... and I'm crying." - ". That's"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "What, that's enough...... *sob*, didn't I tell you to leave me alone!" - "? That's"; "!?"
Asahi 9/6 - "Why didn't I notice it right away." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Look, you can't stand my help, can you. I'll call Yuuichi or something......" - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "You're different from Yuuichi-san, you're Mitsuki!" - "! You're"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Kent......? Hmm...... he was given to you when we were still kids, wasn't he." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Kenta was strong, so...... you would've got your ass kicked." - "gotten"
Asahi 9/6 - "Why, could I respond only like that." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "Why, when it felt I'd come to understand...... why did I say such awful things." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "When I thought that I might have lost my relationship with him." - "..."
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "......If it's that bad, then I should've taken Mitsuki's hand, shouldn't I." - "?" - It should really be "shouldn't I have," but that sounds awkward
Asahi 9/6 - "I was hesitant even now...... how many times would I look around behind me before I was satisfied." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "Didn't you tell me...... that it was here. If I can find it, *sob*, it'll grant my wish, won't it?" - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "Even as mud ground under her fingernails, painfully. Even as she grew cold...... even as it seems she would be crushed with doubt." - "seemed"
Asahi 9/6 - "It's just...... do I face it, or run away." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "......Where is it! Yuuichi-san." - "!?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Not really. I don't hate it but I'm not happy either." - "it, but"
Asahi 9/6 - Yuuichi: "Then, keep me company for a little while. I looked at your homework, didn't I." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "You just don't want to show her something you suck at, do you. You have zero talent for fishing." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "At the time, I felt, he's in unusually high spirits, isn't he." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Whaddya call this." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Yuuichi: "Then, what do you want to be popular with." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "What, you're being gross." - "? You're"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Hey, Yuuichi...... you have a bite, don't you." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "I know myself. I get in a fist fight with you, I don't think I'd win." - "If I got"
Asahi 9/6 - Yuuichi: "Then, that's serious. What're you going to do with that irritation." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - "......It's been one day for you, but how many years has it been for me." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "......Why." - "?"
Asahi 9/6 - Mitsuki: "Why! Why'd you have to die......" - "!?"
Asahi 9/6 - Asahi: "But...... but...... there's nothing that can be done. What else can I do, for you." - "?"
Asahi 9/13 - Mitsuki: "......Was I asleep, that long." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "I couldn't do that either, she got really excited talking about your life in the hospital." - ". She"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "There's no need to give up, is there." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "That's an omen too...... it's always raining on our crucial days, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "......That's right, that's appropriate for this, isn't it." - ". That's"; "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "......Is that so." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - "What was being reflected in her eyes was probably the same as me." - "mine" or "in mine"
Asahi 10/13 - "I thought something like, this is a dream, she's going to turn away the moment I touch her, isn't she." - ";"; "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "Nn, that feels weird...... it puts me in a mood a little, doesn't it." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "What's this? You git turned on, doing dirty things to me..... didn't you." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "......You're serious, aren't you." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "......Aah, really. Then, it feels that good, Mitsuki?" - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - "? Guys, can finish without cumming, can't they?" - "can't"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "Listen, haph, just take it, if you don't like it we won't do it again from now on...... ahm" - ". If"; "it, we"
Asahi 10/13 - "If we behaved ourselves...... who knew if we would to able to have an opportunity for something like this again?" - "be"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "Asahi...... s-seriously, I! If you keep going...... like this" - "I—"; "this—"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "O-o-okay...... if you keep going, keep going like this, I'll" - "I'll—"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "Nn~~~...... bh, *tch*, oh, what's this? Heh-heh, aren't you cute, Mitsuki." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "Asahi...... I" - "I—"
Asahi 10/13 - "But, I thought, our feelings are about to take this shape, aren't they." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "You're fine just the way you are, I love you." - "."
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "I knew it, that was clumsy, wasn't it." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "Ah, wait!? D-dirty, aren't you!" - "!?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "Yeah, but...... we are erotic, looking at it objectively, aren't we." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Asahi: "From the time I met you until today...... nn, a-alot's happened......" - "a-a lot's"
Asahi 10/13 - "I didn't know what was what anymore. A feeling like my soul was getting pulled up into space, I just shook my hips." - "With a feeling" or "Feeling"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "There's nothing obvious about it...... our relationship now. I think, it's a miracle, isn't it." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: "With Yuuichi? Then it must've been a pretty long time ago. When was it, I wonder." - "?"
Asahi 10/13 - Mitsuki: " 'There's a benefit to rain falling, isn't there. You two... Look. At the sky. A rainbow appeared.' " - "?"

Holy shit, no, I guess you didn't miss too much ^_^;;;

All the questions without question marks - As I mentioned before:

I do this several times throught, often when a question is more rhetorical, thoughtful, or said with a falling intonation. To me, it's more an indication of intonation, and I feel that the wording still indicates that it's a question.

It's a stylistic choice I made from the beginning, and I haven't decided whether the inevitable tongue-lashing I'll get from grammarians will cause me to change it.

All the sentences run together with commas - Another stylistic choice, to indicate speaking style - full-stop pause > semicolon pause > comma pause. To me, the dialog should more closely match how people speak than try to be perfect written English (although the narration should be more literary and 'ideal' English). I've changed some of the ones you indicated from commas to semicolons to break it up a little more.
I don't get every little thing - Changed to 'understand,' because she's speaking in the non-past tense.
a strange sweat ran from me - Changed to 'ran off of me.'
that's why I sent an email - Changed the comma to a semicolon. I don't like to split sentences, and 'so' doesn't seem like a strong enough conditional.
Don't stay half-asleep forever - Changed comma to semicolon; see above.
"I got it, let me eat breakfast." - As above.
I've missed this, how long's it been - As above (I'll stop mentioning these now; I'll change the rest of them similarly).
"It's not the kind of job that takes two people, is it, well, later." - Left as-is because she's flustered and not speaking in clear sentences.
Don't waste your attention to detail - Changed to 'Don\'t let your attention to detail go to waste.' She's telling him to put his attention to detail to good use in telling when she's getting bored.
".........Why" - I think I'll leave this alone for now, mostly because it seems like an incomplete thought.
And so, you came to see my beloved face? - Left as-is - to me, 'beloved' (loved by someone/thing) is different from 'lovely.'
"I just gotta straighten up the magazines, throw my clothes in the washer, right? Yeah, this's well within my tolerances." - Leaving as-is - comma instead of 'and' because of informal speech; 'tolerances' (actually changing to 'tolerance;' singular sounds better) because unfortunately your suggestion doesn't fit.
And then fall over. - Left as-is; informal speech.
"there's so many people" - Left as-is; informal/nervous speech.
"There's so much fun." - Changed to 'fun stuff.'
"Found it! I made a breakthrough, the characters for yakisoba by the crowd over there." - Left as-is; informal speech, not supposed to be a complete sentence anyway.
"I can't carry three helpings of yakisoba～" - I don't think 'myself' is necessary, especially if she's yelling from a distance.
"There's soo many accessory booths." - Left as-is; informal speech.
"Aren't you having fun yet?" - I think the negative question sounds more natural in this situation, since the hypothesis is that she's not having fun (since she's not eating).
"W-what...... Then I look like a coward" - Left as-is, to indicate that he cut himself off in mid-sentence.
"It's raining harder......" - This sounds more natural to me.
"Hey, Mitsuki...... by any chance, are you" and others - I've been indicating cut-off sentences (like the other two above) by just leaving off the punctuation, but maybe the dashes would be better... It'll have to be a global change I make through the whole game.
"you would've got your ass kicked." - Left for childish/informal speech.
"I get in a fist fight with you, I don't think I'd win." - I know it's not technically grammatically correct, but I like how it sounds, so I'm using the informal speech/artistic license card (again).
"? Guys, can finish without cumming, can't they?" - The question was phrased positively, not negatively - I think she's talking about internal ejaculation, or whatever you call it...

All others fixed as given. Huge thanks again! I don't mean to sound like a dick about the stuff like the question marks... Technically I still have a chance to change it when I do the final editing pass; I'll keep thinking about it. Enjoy Koto, and I hope you enjoyed the rest of the game! Nekoyasha 06:19, 21 June 2012 (EDT)

I thought you might have said before that you left the question marks off on purpose, but I couldn't remember. Obviously you can do whatever you want, but grammatically, those question marks should be there. That's all I'm gonna say about that. I only pointed out the lines with the casual English in case you wanted to change it; I think it's fine like that too. The sentences split by commas are also technically wrong; it's probably better to separate the sentences. If you want them to be one thought, then a semi-colon serves that purpose while still being grammatically correct. But in dialogue, you don't have to be grammatically correct, because that's not how normal people speak. Just go with whatever you think is best. You said "I don't mean to sound like a dick about the stuff like the question marks." I assure you, you don't. I was more worried that I would ;) --Dan. 10:16, 21 June 2012 (EDT)

Common 7/6 - Several of Kohane's lines (repeated in flashbacks a few times, so I figured they were important):

"A lone, trembling child like I was then, eyes downcast---"
"It's all right, that smile said, and made me want to raise up my hands---"
"The world is wider, it said---"
"That time, it was like the chairman gave me something---"

The nuance of those lines in English are a little more like this:

"If somewhere out there, there is another child trembling and alone, like I was back then---"
"I want to reach out to them, to tell them 'It's all right'---"
"That there's a wider world out there---"
"Just like the Chairman did for me back then---"

(I moved this to the end - please add new stuff to the end so I can see it/reply more easily)

Sorry it took me a while to respond; I'm not ignoring this (I did see it, even before it got wiped out the first time by the database hiccup), I was just focused on finishing the translation. I'll take a look at the lines again when I reach them in the editing pass. Nekoyasha 06:19, 21 June 2012 (EDT)

After reviewing those lines, I agree with you, and they've been re-translated. Thanks for the suggestion! Nekoyasha 06:30, 24 June 2012 (EDT)

[edit] Koto QC

I didn't include the "isn't it"/etc. questions this time. I did, however, point out some questions that were less clear. For example, Mitsuki says "What the hell is wrong with her," which is a rhetorical question, but when you say it, you say it like a regular question (it's not one of those "janai"-type question-statements). I think questions that are in a real question form should be considered separately from the "isn't it" type of questions. Also, when they're at the beach, you used the word "luggage" for the things they brought with them. It's perfectly fine, but "bags" or just "stuff" or "things" might be better, since luggage technically refers to suitcases and things like you'd bring on an airplane rather than what you'd bring to the beach.

On the front page you said something about possibly doing extra scenarios; was that talking about the Period Sweet Drops fandisc, or something else? --Dan. 12:52, 21 June 2012 (EDT)

Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "Nnn? What." - "What?" - This is more of an actual question, but I'll leave that up to your judgment.
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - "Do I have any interest in the swimsuits, or not." - "not?" - I guess this is a rhetorical question, because he's asking himself, but it's not the same style as the others, so I pointed it out here. Again, your judgment.
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - "...If I say one of those, then I'm interested." - "If I had to choose"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "Ah, I'm okay I'm okay. It's not like I'm in poor health or anything." - "okay,"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "...Is that so." - "so?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Aoi: "Mitsuki! Hey, how long are you going to sit there!" - "there!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - "Kuh...... w-what's with that evil smile!" - "smile!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "Heh-heh-heh, don't you feel small now." - "now?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "What the hell's with her. She's the one who started talking about having a contest." - "her?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Koto: "Wha!? Wait, whaddya mean by that, Amamiya-kun!" - "Amamiya-kun!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Koto: "Mmm, do you think I'm going to give you your long-awaited prize of a hot kiss! I won't give it to you anymore!" - "kiss!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "Sensei, it isn't good to be pushy. Look, as you can see Kohane-chan wants to kiss me, doesn't she." - "see,"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "We were lying. We were just bothering you a little, Kohane-chan. Right, Sensei." - "Sensei?" - here he's asking for confirmation as a separate sentence, not as part of the previous one - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Kohane: "*phew* ...... That's good. I was thinking, what should I do." - "do?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Aoi: "Ah-ha-ha-ha, my bad my bad." - "bad,"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/23 - Mitsuki: "Oh, Jun'ya, welcome back. Where'd you go until now." - "Where have you been until now?"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Mitsuki: "What, don't hold back." - "What? Don't"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Tsunaki: "...W-what? What's with that strange look." - "look?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Mitsuki: "Even if you say that...... right, Sempai." - "Sempai?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - "As I watched Sempai giving out such instructions, suddenly I thought, what's the president doing." - "doing?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Tsunaki: "Huh? What's this, all of a sudden." - "sudden?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Tsunaki: "......Jeez, what're you talking about. She's well, she's well. She's so healthy it's a little disturbing." - "about?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Arisa: "...Why. That was clearly unnecessary, wasn't it." - "Why?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/26 - Aoi: "There there...... what really happened. I don't understand." - "happened?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Mitsuki: "What's up, Jun'ya. You look pale, huh?" - "Jun'ya?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Aoi: "What's with that 'what.'" - " 'what?' " - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Mitsuki: "What's with that 'what's with that what.'" - "what?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Aoi: "Hey, what's that supposed to mean. Wanna take a swim in Nagasaki Harbor with your clothes on, huh?" - "mean?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Tsunaki: "Why can't we at least turn on the lights, in this darkness." - "darkness?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Mitsuki: "Why not. We've finished the check of the east side for now, let's do that." - "not?"; "now; let's"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Tsunaki: "W-what was that, just now." - "now?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Jun'ya: "My one intention is Koto-chan. ......Nwaaa, why isn't Koto-chan participating in the test of courage." - "courage?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Miyu: "No no, there was definitely, weird footsteps, right above us! Like da-da-da-da-da— !" - "No,"; "were"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Asahi: "W-w-w-what, kohane-chan." - "Kohane-chan?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Tsunaki: "You think I know something like that!" - "that!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Jun'ya: "You, you said something like, the student council room is my room so you can feel relieved, didn't you." - "room,"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Miyu: "Is that so." - "so?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Asahi: "What are you doing talking about baffling things, you two." - "doing,"; "two?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Aoi: "Hey, what road." - "road?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Asahi: "I mean, why do you keep frightening a good girl like Kohane-chan!" - "Kohane-chan!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Asahi: "We were surprised too...... What's with that blackout curtain." - "curtain?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Koto: "Ah, they're here they're here. That certainly took long enough." - "here,"
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - ???: "What's wrong, Sensei. You're so panicked." - "Sensei?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - ???: "What's the matter Sensei. Is there something on my face?" - "matter, Sensei?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 7/31 - Miyu: "Awawa, w-what do we do, Aoi-chan." - "Aoi-chan?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/3 - Asahi: "You guys, what're you looking at~!" - "at~!?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/3 - Mitsuki: "Aah, is that what happened." - "happened?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/3 - Mitsuki: "What's up, Koto-sensei. You've been at it for a while." - "Koto-sensei?" - your judgment
Summer (Kohane, Aoi, Koto) 8/3 - Mitsuki: "......you don't want one too, do you, Sensei." - "Sensei?" - your judgment
Koto 9/5 - Koto: "Sorry-, I just went to restroom for a second--- what're you doing looking at your Sensei's desk however you please!" - "the restroom"; "please!?" - your judgment
Koto 9/7 - Asahi: "Ah, wait Mitsuki! The next class is gonna start soon, what're you doing standing up!" - "up!?" - your judgment
Koto 9/7 - Miyu: "What, Asahi." - "Asahi?" - your judgment
Koto 9/7 - Mitsuki: "Umm, for example, you said you were going out to eat. What kind of places do you go to?" - "kinds"
Koto 9/7 - Hatsumi: "Heh-heh, if you're concerned why don't you try asking her yourself. Look, we're already at the infirmary." - "concerned,"; "yourself?" - your judgment
Koto 9/8 - Mitsuki: "W-w-w-what're you talking about!" - "about!?" - your judgment
Koto 9/8 - Hatsumi: "You're always embarrassing me, Amamiya-kun, being able to get revenge on you is immensely satisfying. Heh-heh." - "Amamiya-kun; being"
Koto 9/8 - Koto: "When did you see that! I haven't done anything like that lately!" - "that!?" - your judgment
Koto 9/8 - Koto: "But, you have to put up with it, that's the kind of romantic situation that girls love, isn't it?" - "it; that's" - this is one of several "isn't it"-type questions where you did use a "?"
Koto 9/27 - Jun'ya: "......I got too excited and got a go-ron?" - I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. The only thing I could think of were the Gorons from Zelda.
Koto 3/10 - Koto: "If we try passing the time, might it not be short?" - this just sounds kind of awkward; I suggest "If we do something to pass the time, will it not seem as long?" or "won't it seem short?"
Koto 3/10 - "The foreskin protecting Koto's clitoris." - that's only part of the male anatomy; this is probably talking about the clitoral hood, so either "hood" or just "skin" would would work
Koto 3/10 - Koto: "Hmm~, but there're other kinds on contraception besides putting on a con...... ah, nn—" - "of"
Koto 3/10 - Arisa: "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I have to get along with her." - it's fine how it is, but I think "Why should I get along with her" might be better. Also, question mark at the end is up to you
Koto 3/10 - But, why did Kohane-chan look relieved." - "relieved?" - your judgment

Much less work this time : )

"......I got too excited and got a go-ron?" - It's a penalty in mahjong - Jun'ya's playing Mitsuki's hand-held mahjong game again. I couldn't find an English equivalent, like a lot of the other mahjong terms in the game. I'll put a note in the translation notes about it.
"If we try passing the time, might it not be short?" - Yes, I agree it's awkward, but between the odd way it was originally phrased and trying to make it sound more "adult," it came out kinda mangled. I changed it to "And yet if we pass the time, maybe it would be short enough?"
foreskin - Actually I think the term can apply to both the male foreskin and the clitoral hood, but you're right, hood is more common. I changed it.

I think I've also decided to add in all the question marks. I don't want people focusing on oddities in the writing instead of the story itself, so I'll yield on this one.

The extra scenario I was talking about is a disk called the Mini Story Disk that came with the Fanclub edition of Period. I've never gotten around to installing it, so I don't know how long the scenario is or what it's about, but I'm guessing it's not very long. Sweet Drops, on the other hand, is a full fandisk 1/3 the length of Period. It's pretty fun, but I have no plans on translating it at the moment - I've been working on Period too long...

I think it's a good idea to put in all the question marks, but won't it be a lot of work? I don't know how you kept up with this whole translation all by yourself, but I'm glad you did, and I'm sure many more people will be too :) --Dan. 04:47, 22 June 2012 (EDT)

Nah, it shouldn't be that bad - I'm going over the whole game again anyway, I'll catch them all there. Along with a thousand other little changes that make me wonder if partial patches were a good idea in the first place ^_^;; I mostly did them to prove to people that the project was serious (and to prove to myself - no one is more surprised than me that I actually finished this, given my failed attempts in the past). Nekoyasha 06:30, 24 June 2012 (EDT)

Common 7/10 - Is it really about the Foundation Festival...? -> It's about the Foundation Festival, right...? - Accepted, but changed 'right' to 'isn't it' (more resigned)
Common 7/10 - I already got incredibly angry. -> I got so incredibly angry! - Accepted and reworded
Common 7/14 - "Oi oi..." -> "Hey, hey..." (occurs throughout the game. Seeing "oi" in English makes me think of British punks >_<)
Common 7/14 - Iinchou is, tragic... -> Poor Iinchou...
Common 7/14 - "What, for the sake of that---" -> "What, over a little thing like that---"
Common 7/14 - It's not that I was unwilling, but this problem is none others' than Iinchou's. -> but this problem is Iinchou's alone. - Accepted
Common 7/14 - adviser -> more used to seeing the spelling "advisor" (twice as many Google results) - This seems to be just preference (both are accepted spellings), but the references I saw seem to indicate the original spelling, adviser, is more common
Common 7/14 - "...The point is, I get the circumstances." -> "...I think I understand the circumstances."
Common 7/14 - Catching the evening light, the home ec room was dyed crimson. -> The evening light dyed the home ec room crimson.
Common 7/14 - "...But, even Iinchou is distant." (no correction, but this line sounds awkward) - Reworded
Common 7/14 - "Doing things like not relying on people, she always tries too hard..." (same here) - Reworded
Common 7/14 - Iinchou didn't seem to have well grasped the situation yet. -> to have a good grasp of the situation yet.
Common 7/14 - She gazed at us, blinking her eyes open. -> blinking. - Removed 'open'
Common 7/14 - She turned to me, her eyes clinging. -> her eyes pleading.
Common 7/14 - ...But, it's impossible to presume on her. -> ...But I can't impose on her like that.
Common 7/14 - The day's running out soon! -> It'll be dark before you know it!
Common 7/14 - It still tastes great after several bowls. -> I could probably eat an endless number of bowls of this stuff.
Common 7/14 - "What am I doing~. I'm on my third bowl." -> "Hmm, what should I doooo~? Should I go ahead and have thirds?" - Accepted and reworded
Common 7/14 - Let's see, always wearing your uniforms will wear them out, next let's chance clothes~ -> Let's see... Staying in your uniforms seems like it would be tiring, so let's go ahead and change clothes~
Common 7/14 - Being looked at won't deminish anything! -> What would it hurt to let me have a little peek?!
Common 7/14 - and I watched the shop alone. -> the stand alone.
Common 7/14 - What's wrong? Iinchou. Is there some trouble? -> What's wrong, Iinchou? Is there some trouble?
Common 7/14 - So she came to see my condition... -> to see how I was doing... - Accepted
Common 7/14 - Maybe the flame under the pot, flickering before our eyes, had shown a miraculous hypnotic effect. -> had had a miraculous hypnotic effect on her.
Common 7/15 - "T-that was simple..." -> "What a simple guy..."
Common 7/15 - "Everyone, are the preparations good?" -> "All ready, everyone?"
Common 7/15 - Then, open up! -> Then let's open up!
Common 7/15 - we decided to take breaks in turns. -> in shifts.
Common 7/15 - The way you talk, it's nothing but difficulties, right? -> To hear you tell it, you'd think it was nothing but backbreaking work.
Common 7/15 - blow off my fatigue from the past day. -> wipe away my fatigue
Common 7/15 - Unconsciously I blushed at being smiled at. -> Seeing her smiling at me made me unconsciously start to blush. - Accepted and reworded
Common 7/15 - Have you prepared any karaoke? -> We've got karaoke, you know.
Common 7/15 - It would be natural to feel let down. -> to feel tired.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - To correct Mitsuki's social rejection, -> To make sure Mitsuki's doesn't become a shut-in,
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - let's buy something bold! -> let's go ahead and buy them!
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - "But, we're rescued by all the shade from the trees." -> "Thank goodness there are all these trees along the way to shade us."
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - locals from elsewhere -> people who live in other places - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - "Yeah yeah, it gets as lively as a festi... -> "You're right! Standing in those neat little rows, like stalls at a festi...
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Tsuzumi: "The swimsuit..." -> Tsuzumi: "The swimsuits..." - Accepted
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Miyu: "Oh!" -> Miyu: "Hooray!"
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Hmmmmmm... I'm worried. Among the suits we've looked at sso far, there're three candidates. -> Hmmmmmm... I can't choose. There're suits that I really like so far.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - But, it's hard to throw away the two-piece either. -> But this two-piece is awfully hard to pass up. - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - For me, I guess that one-piece from before with the flower stalks. -> I guess that flower-patterned one-piece from before.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - Aah, that's what you mean. A hammer. -> Aah, that's what you mean. So you swim like a hammer, huh.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - When we entered the ice cream shop, there was one character of strange behavior. (kinda awkward)
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - With her usually composed behavior, seeming a little distant from the class, Mizuhara Tsusumi. (same)
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - She's confused because she asked for so much... -> because she ordered so many different kinds...
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - white tea -> milk tea (not the same; white tea is made with a certain kind of leaves, while milk tea is just regular black tea with milk added) - Accepted
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - You couldn't see... -> Geez, you didn't even notice it... - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/20 - He used to do stuff like this... -> He's always been this way...
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - a head that seemed even like steam (what now?) - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - Life must be easy, wrestling with it crudely like you. -> Life must be easy if you live it like a slob the way you do.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - Asahi, one can compare your actions to the boss of a gang of kids. -> Asahi, that sounds like something a bully would say.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - ...When you guys are ditching, you're not really studying, are you? -> ...You two aren't actually going off and studying together every time you ditch, are you? - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/21 - Will a typhoon be all right? -> Don't we need to worry about typhoons? - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - time passed on it's own. -> on its own. - Accepted
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - The classroom's air conditioning suddenly broke down. -> The classroom's air conditioning had suddenly broken down. - Accepted
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - The classroom seemed just like a tournament of endurance. -> It was pushing the limits of our endurance just to remain in the classroom.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - Then at long last, the time of endurance was over. -> Until at long last, the time came when we needed to endure no longer.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - shitajiki -> pencil board - I think more people are familiar with it as a 'shitajiki' than as a 'pencil board.' In either case, there's a translation note explaining it.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - You can play, can't you, piano. -> You play the piano, don't you?
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - an accompanist, don't you. -> an accompanist, don't you?
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - her shoulder and arm are---right? -> her shoulder and arm are... so...
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - Right, she said, but it was obscuring the impression of something serious. (huh?)
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - But I haven't done anything... -> But why would you come to me first? - Reworded
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - the girl in the wind ensemble -> the girls in the wind ensemble - Presumably she's talking about the piano accompanist for the wind ensemble, not the whole group
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - If so, then she... -> Well, what about them?
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - You can't expect even me to do something about that.
Summer (Asahi, Miyu, Tsuzumi) 7/24 - I'm sorry, you took the effort to ask, but... -> I'm sorry, after you went out of your way to ask me, but... - Accepted
- Thanks for the suggestions! I've changed some, as marked above, but others I left as-is, either because I prefer the original phrasing, or because the suggestion seemed too far from the original. Also, it's getting down to the point where I need to finalize the text in order to make the final release (and I really want to make the final release), so I don't know how much time I have to make further changes. So, I don't know if any further suggestions will make it in. Nekoyasha (talk) 16:13, 5 August 2012 (EDT)

[edit] Installation/Technical/Crashes

Kohane's route still not translated in new patch.

Thanks for the heads up - fixed now. Nekoyasha 05:23, 21 October 2011 (CDT)

Need help with the English patch installer. I can install start the game in Japanese with the update, but somehow the English patch hangs after showing the insert disk popup. (I have uninstalled the Japanese version) Using 64bit Win7 and in Jap local.

[edit] Script error

ピリオド - Sintax Error

スクリプト解析中に不正な処理を行いました以下のエラーコードをサポートまでご報告ください

Code: LW06-1.0-20541-267 [00000000]

処理の続行が不可能なためプログラムを強制終了します

OK

This appears after starting a new game, progressing some time through the first day. Then the game crashes. I've completed all but Rin's and Koto's routes up until this point.

Does this always happen in the same place? If so, could you give me the line of dialog immediately before it happens? Thanks! Nekoyasha (talk) 02:17, 26 August 2012 (EDT)

Sorry, maybe a false alarm, while the error reproduced reliably every time, I now restarted my system and cannot reproduce it anymore. I blame the planetary alignment at that time.

The backlog is a mess whenever I either load a game or I fast forward the text. Also, going into New game is fine, but once I pushed the skip again, the backlog is a mess.

This error wasn't here on my first run. I dunno what happened. ==Anon==

edit from me: I was running the game from the unpatched version the 2nd time I executed the game. Sorry about this.

ピリオド - Sintax Error

スクリプト解析中に不正な処理を行いました以下のエラーコードをサポートまでご報告ください

Code: LW06-1.0-20541-267 [00000000]

処理の続行が不可能なためプログラムを強制終了します

When you dismiss the error dialog using OK...

ピリオド - Script Error

スクリプト処理中に不正な処理を行いました以下のエラーコードをサポートまでご報告ください

Code: LW06-1.0-20532-161 [00000000]

処理の続行が不可能なためプログラムを強制終了します

And then Period exits. This happens during the early start of extra, after clicking to dismiss line "Juny'a: Of course".

Can you tell me the sequence of installs you did (e.g. installed 7.0 full, installed 7.1 patch, installed Mini Story Disc)? I want to try to reproduce with the exact sequence. I just tried with the Extra file on my random installation and it worked fine. Nekoyasha (talk) 21:49, 10 September 2012 (EDT)

Just wanted to note that I get the exact same problem in Tsuzumi's route on 26th of July after the line "Well, with something like this she won't end up with bloodlust... probably." I installed the game, then the 7.0 patch then the 7.1 update, the "ero" ones. Help would be appreciated.--178.43.132.186 19:30, 8 April 2013 (EDT)

EDIT: Now I feel like a damn idiot. But maybe this will help other people. Make sure you're running the -ENGLISH- exe. Turns out I was launching the game from the desktop shortcut, but it linked to the japanese exe, not the english one Launched it from the patched exe and now it progressed without problem.--178.43.132.186 19:36, 8 April 2013 (EDT)

Period:Error Reports

Contents

[edit] Typos/Spelling/Grammar

[edit] Asahi QC

[edit] Koto QC

[edit] Installation/Technical/Crashes

[edit] Script error

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