R11:SA5 02.txt

悟「ありがとう、お陰でだいぶ楽になったよ」%K%P
Thanks, I feel a lot better now.

長い昏睡状態を経て、ようやく動けるようになったオレはリビングへとやってきた。%K%P
After what felt like an eternity in my comatose state, I'd finally regained the ability to move and had gone to the living area.

壁伝いに手をつきながら、老人みたいによたよたと……。%K%P
With my hand on the wall for support, I felt like an old man....

内海「強がってるの？」%K%P
Acting tough, are we?

内海「こんなときにまで英雄気取りなのね？」%K%P
Are you still trying to play the hero, even after everything that's happened to you?

内海の言葉は刺々しかった。%K%P
Utsumi's words stung.

いまだオレに対する敵意を持ち続けているようだ。%K%P
She probably still held a grudge against me.

とは言え、今朝キッチンで倒れたオレを、部屋まで運んでくれたのは彼女だった。%K%P
But even so, when I collapsed in the kitchen this morning, she was the one who carried me back to my room.

『薬』の中和剤を打ってくれたのも彼女だ。%K%P
She was the one who'd given me an antidote to neutralize the effect of the "drug."

中和剤は、榎本が身を潜めていたあの薄暗い小部屋の奥に保管されていたものだという。%K%P
The antidote had supposedly been stored deep inside the dark little room where Enomoto had hidden.

もちろん、オレはこれらの情報を直接知ったわけではない。%K%P
Of course, this wasn't firsthand information.

つい先ほど、内海自身が話して聞かせてくれたことだ。%K%P
Utsumi told me all of this just before.

ともかく、内海はオレを見捨てなかった。%K%P
At any rate, she hadn't abandoned me.

意識を失ったオレは完全に無防備な状態だったが、危害を加えられるようなこともなかった。%K%P
I was completely defenseless while I was out, but she didn't use that opportunity to attack me.

挙句の果てに、彼女は介抱までしてくれたのだ。%K%P
And on top of all that, she was nursing me back to health.

オレは内海の真意をはかりかねていた。%K%P
I couldn't understand Utsumi's true intentions.

悟「ふぅー」%K%P
Fuuh...

窓枠にもたれかかり、ひと息ついた。%K%P
Leaning against the window, I let out a sigh.

ポケットの中から腕時計を取り出す。%K%P
I took my wristwatch from my pocket.

時刻は午後２時をまわっていた。%K%P
The current time was 2 PM.

内海「あの物質が体内から消え去るまでには、最低でも１２時間はかかるわ」%K%P
It'll take at least twelve hours for the chemical to completely leave your body.

内海がオレの正面に立って続ける。%K%P
Utsumi continued, standing in front of me.

内海「あなたがキッチンに倒れてたのは午前８時」%K%P
You collapsed in the kitchen at 8 AM.

内海「今は……」%K%P
Now it's...

悟「２時だ、２時５分過ぎ」%K%P
2 PM, five minutes past.

内海「じゃあ、まだ６時間しか経ってないことになるわね」%K%P
Well, that would mean it's only been six hours.

悟「そうだな」%K%P
That's right.

内海「おとなしく寝てたらどうなの？」%K%P
Why don't you just rest quietly until then?

悟「子守歌、唄ってくれるか？」%K%P
Will you... sing me a lullaby?

内海「バカみたい……」%K%P
Don't be silly...

内海「それもどうせ『冗談が言えるぐらいに快復した』っていう意味でのアピールでしょ？」%K%P
You're probably trying to show me that "I'm healthy enough to joke," right?

悟「いや、本気だけど？」%K%P
No, I'm serious.

内海「無理しないでよ」%K%P
Don't strain yourself.

悟「無理なんかしてないさ」%K%P
I'm not.

内海「そんなに顔が歪んでるのに？」%K%P
Even though your face is all twisted like that?

悟「元からじゃないか？」%K%P
Hey, I was born that way.

内海「じゃあ、握ってみて？」%K%P
Then try squeezing my hand.

そう言って、内海はオレの前に手のひらを差し出した。%K%P
Saying that, she extended an arm out to me.

オレはその上に、自分の手を重ねた。%K%P
I placed my hand over hers.

内海「握ってって言ってるの」%K%P
I asked you to squeeze it.

内海「それは触れてるだけでしょう？」%K%P
That's just touching, right?

そんなことを言われても、どうにもならなかった。%K%P
Even if she said that, there was nothing I could do.

指先はオレのいうことをきいてくれない。%K%P
My fingertips wouldn't do as I told them.

軽く手のひらを丸めるのがやっとだった。%K%P
I was finally able to flex my fingers just enough to make a fist.

内海「もっと強く」%K%P
Harder.

強くとか、弱くとか、そんな微調整ができる状態ではなかった。%K%P
I was in no condition to be making such fine adjustments.

そう、確かにオレは、内海が言ったように強がって見せているだけだったのだ。%K%P
That's right, as Utsumi had said, I was just acting tough.

全身の筋肉は、ゼリーかヨーグルトにでも変わってしまったかのように弛緩しきっている。%K%P
Every muscle in my body had relaxed, as though they'd been transformed into jelly or yogurt.

窓枠に全体重を預けているからどうにか立っていられるものの、子どもが軽く小突いただけで、ふらりとよろめき倒れてしまいそうだった。%K%P
By putting my entire body weight against the window, I was somehow able to stay standing, but it felt like I'd fall over if someone so much as breathed on me.

オレがキッチンで意識を失ってから６時間が経つ。%K%P
And this was six hours after I'd collapsed in the kitchen.

さすがに幻影を見ることはもうなかったが、肉体の虚脱感は依然として残っていた。%K%P
Thankfully, I wasn't seeing any more of those weird visions, but my body still felt completely limp. 

悟「これは、和解の握手と考えてもいいのかな？」%K%P
Can we consider this a handshake of reconciliation?

内海「ごまかさないでよ」%K%P
Don't try to fool me.

内海「握れないなら握れないって、素直に言えばいいじゃない」%K%P
If you can't squeeze it, then say so.

オレは黙っていた。%K%P
I kept silent.

内海は今、なにを考えているのだろう？%K%P
What was Utsumi thinking right now?

手のひらの温もりから、彼女の心理をうかがおうとした。%K%P
I tried to sense her thoughts through the warmth of her hand.

彼女はいまだ、穂鳥に対する殺意を抱いているのだろうか？%K%P
Was she still harboring murderous thoughts against Hotori?

その穂鳥は今、ダイニングチェアに腰を下ろして隣のゆにと話している。%K%P
That very same Hotori was now sitting on one of the dining area chairs, chatting with Yuni.

ここからでは会話の内容を聞き取ることはできないが、姿だけはしっかりと見えた。%K%P
I couldn't make out their conversation from here, but I could see them well enough.

穂鳥も、もちろんゆにも、無事だった。%K%P
Hotori, and Yuni of course, were both safe.

潤一くんの命日である１４日は過ぎた。%K%P
The anniversary of Junichi-kun's death, the 14th, had already passed.

だからといって、内海の怨念がきれいさっぱりと消え去ったわけではないだろう。%K%P
But even so, it wasn't as though Utsumi's grudge had wiped itself clean.

それでも内海は、オレが身動きできない状態であったにもかかわらず、穂鳥に手を出すことはなかったように見える。%K%P
Furthermore, even though I was currently in no condition to stop her, it looked as though she hadn't laid a hand on Hotori.

なぜだ……？%K%P
Why...?

内海が何を考えているのか、オレにはまったく読めなかった。%K%P
I had no idea what Utsumi was thinking.

しかし、それは内海も同じだったようで……。%K%P
However, it looked as though she felt the same....

内海「あなたが何を考えてるのか、私にはさっぱりわからないわ」%K%P
I have no idea what you're thinking.

あきれたように首を振り、彼女は手のひらをそっと放した。%K%P
She shook her head as though flustered, and gently released my hand.

悟「なあ？　こころに『薬』を飲ませたのは誰なんだ？」%K%P
Hey... who was it that made Kokoro take the "drug"?

オレは感覚の失せた両腕をぎこちなくさすりながら尋ねた。%K%P
I asked as I clumsily rubbed my numb hands.

内海「知らないわよ、見てたわけじゃないもの」%K%P
I have no idea. It's not like I saw it happen.

内海「自分で飲んだんじゃないの？」%K%P
Could she have taken it herself?

悟「こころが……？」%K%P
Kokoro did...?

内海「キッチンの床に空きビンが転がってたの」%K%P
There was an empty bottle on the kitchen floor.

内海「誰かが無理矢理飲ませたんだとしたら、回収するはずでしょ？」%K%P
If someone had forced her to take it, they would've taken the evidence with them, right?

そうとは限らないと思うが……。%K%P
I don't think that's necessarily the case....

まあ、いい。%K%P
Well, whatever.

そのことは後で考えるとして……。%K%P
I can think about that later....

悟「で？　その空きビンにはいったいどんな『薬』が入ってたんだ？」%K%P
And? What kind of "drug" was inside the bottle?

悟「詳しい話はまだ……」%K%P
I still don't know the details...

内海「そうね、まだ教えてなかったかも知れない」%K%P
That's right, I hadn't told you yet.

内海は穂鳥の様子をこっそりとうかがいながら、リビングの窓を開いた。%K%P
Glancing discretely over at Hotori, Utsumi opened the door to the terrace.

そのままテラスに出ていく。%K%P
She stepped outside.

穂鳥には聞かれたくない話なのだろうか？%K%P
Maybe she didn't want Hotori to hear?

オレは内海のあとに続いた。%K%P
I followed after Utsumi.

空は爽やかに晴れ渡っていた。%K%P
The sky was refreshingly clear.

風はなく、西に傾いた太陽が強烈な光線を放っている。%K%P
There was no wind, and the sun hanging in the western sky threw bright sunlight down at us.

室内着のままでも、あまり寒さを感じなかった。%K%P
Despite the fact that I was in my pajamas, I didn't feel that cold.

麻痺した感覚が、まだ完全には元通りになっていないせいかも知れない。%K%P
But then again, that could have more to do with my paralyzed nerves than the actual temperature.

冷たい空気は、鈍化したオレの肉体にほどよい刺激を与えてくれた。%K%P
The cold air felt invigorating against my dulled body.

内海「空きビンは２本あったわ」%K%P
There were actually two empty bottles.

内海は真っ白い息を吐きながら言った。%K%P
Utsumi said, as her exhalations turned to white vapor.

内海「１本はＤＭＴのビンで、もう１本はハルミンとハルマリンの混合溶液を入れたものだった」%K%P
One bottle of DMT, and one more containing a solution of harmine and harmaline.

内海「聞いたことある？　ＤＭＴって」%K%P
Have you heard of it before? DMT, I mean.

悟「いや」%K%P
No.

内海「ＤＭＴ、ジメチルトリプタミン、幻覚誘発物質の中でも最も強力な部類に属する薬品」%K%P
DMT, dimethyltryptamine, is a substance classified as one of the most powerful hallucinogenic drugs.

内海「ハルミンとハルマリンの方は……こっちはたぶん、あなたも聞き覚えがあるはずよ？」%K%P
As for harmine and harmaline... you've probably heard of them before.

内海「ＭＡＯ阻害剤のことだから」%K%P
They're the MAO inhibitor.

悟「ＭＡＯ阻害剤って……あのネズミがくちにした……」%K%P
The MAO inhibitor... the same as what the rat ate...

内海「そう、ネズミの死因となった物質」%K%P
Yes, the chemical that killed it.

内海は淡々と言ったが、オレの方は動揺を隠し切ることができない。%K%P
Utsumi had said it outright, but I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it.

頭の中には、ダイニングの床で悶え苦しんでいたあのネズミの姿が浮かんでいた。%K%P
Inside my head, I could still see the rat writhing in anguish on the dining area floor.

そんな危険な薬を、どうしてこころは、オレの肉体は、飲んでしまったのだろう……？%K%P
Why had Kokoro introduced such a dangerous drug into my body...?

内海「通常、ＤＭＴは、単体で摂取しても幻覚作用を及ぼさないものなの」%K%P
Normally, simply ingesting DMT wouldn't be enough to cause a hallucination on its own.

内海「人体にあるモノアミン酸化酸素が、ＤＭＴの有効成分を破壊してしまうから」%K%P
The oxygen from the monoamine oxidation agent that naturally exists in the body acts to destroy the active ingredient in DMT.

内海「ちょうど、チラミンを分解するのと同じようにね……？」%K%P
It breaks down tyramine the same way, after all...

内海「けれど、ハルミンやハルマリンと併用した場合は別……」%K%P
However, it's a different story when it's used together with harmine and harmaline...

内海「ＭＡＯ阻害剤がモノアミン酸化酸素の働きを抑制することによって、ＤＭＴの代謝は阻止され……」%K%P
The MAO inhibitor suppresses that oxygenating ability, hindering the metabolism of the DMT...
 
悟「その結果、幻覚誘発物質は血中に残留することになる」%K%P
As a result, the hallucinogenic chemical remains in the blood.

内海「そういうこと」%K%P
That's it.

悟「でも、わからないな……」%K%P
But... I don't understand...

内海「なにが？」%K%P
What?

悟「なにもかもだよ」%K%P
Anything!

悟「仮にこころが自分でそれらの薬品を飲んだとした場合、なぜそんなことをする必要があったのか？」%K%P
For the sake of argument, let's say Kokoro really did take the medication herself. Why would she do that?

悟「彼女はそのうちのひとつが、ＭＡＯ阻害剤だということを知っていたのか、知らなかったのか？」%K%P
Didn't she know it was an MAO inhibitor when she took it?

悟「知っていたとしても、その危険性まで正確に把握していたのかどうか……？」%K%P
Even if she did, did she really understand how dangerous it could be...?

悟「それから……」%K%P
And then...

内海「…………」%K%P
......

悟「…………」%K%P
......

内海「…………」%K%P
......

悟「ああ、悪い」%K%P
Ah, sorry.

悟「こんなこと、あんたに言ってもしょうがないよな？」%K%P
There's no use in asking you that, is there?

内海「そうとも限らないけど……」%K%P
That might not be entirely true...

悟「？」%K%P
?

内海「私、さっきは『自分で飲んだんじゃない？』なんて言っちゃったけど……」%K%P
I've said "maybe she took it herself?" before, but...

内海「もしかしたら、今キッチンにいる２人のうちのどちらかが、無理矢理飲ませたのかも知れないわね」%K%P
It might be that one of the other two forced her to.

悟「どちらかって……」%K%P
One of them...?

悟「要するに、穂鳥のことが言いたいんだろ？」%K%P
In other words, you mean Hotori, right?

内海は答えなかった。%K%P
Utsumi didn't answer.

話をはぐらかすようにオレのもとから離れていく。%K%P
She walked away from me, as though trying to evade the question.

静かに身を屈め、降り積もった雪の中に手を差し入れた。%K%P
Quietly bending down, she dipped her hand into the snow collected on the terrace.

内海「繰り返すけど、あなたに迷惑をかけるつもりはないの」%K%P
I'm repeating myself, but I don't intend to cause you any trouble.
//double check this in case it's a repeated line, please
//she's saying she's repeating herself in regards to wanting to bump off Hotori and not getting Satoru involved. Don't quite know what you mean... - Sheeta

内海「わかって……？」%K%P
Please understand.

オレは彼女の背中に向かって訊き返した。%K%P
I responded with a question aimed at her hunched back.

悟「じゃあ、やっぱりまだ、穂鳥のことを……？」%K%P
Then that means you're still going to...?

内海「これでも止めるつもり？」%K%P
And are you still going to try and stop me?

内海「彼女はあなたを殺そうとしたのよ？」%K%P
She tried to kill you, you know.

内海は雪の中から手を出した。%K%P
She removed her hand from the snow.

パタパタとはたきながら、こちらを向く。%K%P
Patting it dry, she approached me.

悟「万が一、薬を飲まそうとしたのが穂鳥だったとしても、殺意があったかどうかはわからないだろう？」%K%P
Even if it was Hotori who gave her the drug, you don't know whether she intended to kill me or not, right?

悟「殺すつもりだったなら、ＤＭＴなんか要らなかったはずだ」%K%P
If she was trying to kill me, she wouldn't have needed the DMT.

悟「それに、２日前にあんたは言ったよな？」%K%P
Besides, you told me two days ago, right?

悟「ＭＡＯ阻害剤は、４８時間以内に食べ物をくちにしていなければ、生体には無害だって」%K%P
If you don't eat anything for 48 hours, the MAO inhibitor won't have any effect.

悟「オレはこのスフィアで、丸２日間以上なにも食べていない」%K%P
I haven't eaten anything at SPHIA for more than two days now.

悟「そのことは、穂鳥も気づいてたと思うが……？」%K%P
I think Hotori knows that too...

内海「そうかしら？」%K%P
I wonder?

内海「彼女はＤＩＤなのよ？」%K%P
That girl has DID, you know.

内海「人格が入れ替わっていたときのことは、知りようがないわ」%K%P
She wouldn't know anything when she's not the dominant personality at the time.

悟「人格が……入れ替わっていた……？」%K%P
The dominant... personality...?

その言葉が引っかかった。%K%P
Those words grabbed me.

犬伏景子はこの数日間、穂鳥の人格だけを表面に出していたのではなかったのか？%K%P
Hasn't only the Hotori personality appeared in Inubushi Keiko for the past few days?

もしそうだとすると、オレの知らぬ間に、彼女は別の人格へと……。%K%P
If that's the case, then a different personality could have assumed control without my knowledge....

内海「あなたと同じよ」%K%P
It's the same with you.

悟「オレと？」%K%P
With me?

内海「あなただって、冬川さんになっているときの記憶はないんでしょう？」%K%P
You don't remember anything when you become Fuyukawa-san, right?

内海「考えてみて？」%K%P
Think about it.

内海「もしも冬川さんが、あなたの代わりにチラミンを含有する食品をくちにしていたとしたら……」%K%P
Instead of you, if Fuyukawa-san had eaten food containing tyramine...

悟「死んでた、と……？」%K%P
I would've died...?

内海「そういうことになるわね」%K%P
That's how it is.

悟「だ、だけど……」%K%P
B, but...

悟「だけどオレは、こうして生きてるじゃないか」%K%P
But I'm alive right now, aren't I?

内海「重要なのは、可能性があったのかどうかよ」%K%P
What's important is whether the possibility exists.

内海「未必の故意って知ってる？」%K%P
Do you know what willful negligence is?

悟「『実害の発生を積極的に希望、ないしは意図するものではないが」%K%P
It's a mental state in which, "while not consciously intending to do any harm,

悟「自分の行為により、結果として実害が発生してもかまわない、という行為者の心理状態』」%K%P
...careless actions can, in fact, result in it."

内海「明確な殺意がなかったとしても、死んでもかまわないという思惑はあったのかも知れない」%K%P
Even if there was no clear intent to kill, it might've been that she didn't really care if you did die.

悟「そんな……」%K%P
That can't...

内海「率直に言わせてもらうけど、あなたが今生きていられるのは奇蹟よ」%K%P
In all candor, it's a miracle that you're alive right now.

内海「なにも食べなかったのは、ただの偶然なんじゃない？　違う？」%K%P
It was only a coincidence that you didn't eat anything, right? Or am I wrong?

内海「このこと、よく考えてみたほうがいいと思うわ」%K%P
You should think about this very carefully.	

内海は再び身を屈めて雪をすくった。%K%P
Utsumi bent over again to scoop up more snow.

ひとつかみの雪を放り投げ、その軌跡を目でたどる。%K%P
She picked up a handful and flung it away, tracing its arc with her eyes.

風のない大気の中で、粉雪は薄雲のように漂った。%K%P
There was no wind, and a thin mist of snow drifted like a veil in the air.

内海「寒くなってきたわね」%K%P
It's gotten colder.

内海「戻りましょう」%K%P
Let's go back.

オレの答えも待たずに、内海は室内へと姿を消してしまった。%K%P
Without waiting for my reply, Utsumi disappeared into the building.

取り残されたオレ……。%K%P
Leaving me behind....

内海と同じように雪をすくってみる。%K%P
I scooped up the snow just as Utsumi had.

握りしめようとしたが、依然として指先の感覚は失せたままだった。%K%P
I tried to grasp it, but just as before, my fingers were completely numb.

部屋に戻ったオレは、よろよろとベッドに身体を横たえた。%K%P
After returning to my room, I tottered over to my bed and flung myself down.

ＤＭＴ……ＭＡＯ阻害剤……。%K%N
DMT... the MAO inhibitor....

穂鳥が飲ませた……？%K%N
Did Hotori make Kokoro take it...?

あるいはこころが……？%K%N
Or was it Kokoro herself...?

なぜ……？%K%N
Why...?

なんのために……？%K%N
To what end...?

未必の故意……？%K%N
Willful negligence...?

だとしたら、誰による『故意』だっていうんだ……？%K%N
If that was the case, then who had "willfully" done it...?

支離滅裂な思考の断片が、頭の中を飛び交っていた。%K%P
Incoherent thoughts flitted through my head.

ゆうべ、榎本と名乗ったあの男は死んだ。%K%N
Last night, the man calling himself Enomoto had died.

オレは、もしかしたらオレを殺そうとしていた人物は榎本だったのではないかと……そう思っていたのだが……。%K%N
The idea of Enomoto being the one trying to kill me did pass through my mind....

けれど、ＭＡＯ阻害剤……。%K%N
But, the MAO inhibitor....

あの薬をオレの肉体に飲ませたのが、未必の故意によるものだとするならば……。%K%N
Assuming that my body consuming it was the result of willful negligence....

やはりオレは、相変わらず誰かに狙われている……？%K%N
Then, just like before, is someone trying to kill me...?

そういうことなのか……？%K%P
Was that it...?

だとすれば、死者である榎本に犯行は不可能。%K%N
If so, then there's no way the late Enomoto could have done it.

すると、これまでの一連の殺人事件も、榎本は無関係という可能性が濃厚になる。%K%N
This would mean that there was a chance Enomoto had been completely uninvolved in the past attempts on my life.

%N
真犯人は別にいる……？%K%P
Was the true culprit elsewhere...?

悟「はぁ……」%K%P
Hah...

オレはため息をついた。%K%P
I let out a sigh.

こころにメッセージを残しておかなければならない。%K%P
I had to leave a message for Kokoro.

たった１行だけでいい。%K%P
Even one line would be fine.

『薬を飲ませたのは誰なんだ？』%K%P
"Who was it that made you take the drug?"

そう書こうと思い、身を起こしたそのとき――。%K%P
But the moment I decided to do that and went to get up――